A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Thanks for the reacharound.



Those of you who enjoy the Raving Atheist forum (not the insipid drivel posted by the former Raving Atheist but the forums where actual atheists can be found) might have noticed a good deal of pathetic crying lately. I refer specifically to a couple of cumchuggers called Empire and Bogacious B (the B stands for bitch, presumably). The surprising thing about these moronic rent boys is not the idiotic shite they were coming out with, but the fact that they are apparently atheists. Now, I’m not saying that assclownery and atheism are mutually exclusive. This is clearly not the case, but at the Raving Atheists forums the whining bitches are usually theists who come in and are then shocked to discover that we don’t serve their kind, and they’ll have to wait outside (or be prepared to learn how stupid their belief system is). In this case though the tards in question were attempting to argue that it is bad for atheists everywhere to be mean to theists; I can’t even count the number of ways in which their “arguments” were wrong. For one thing, these cunts fail to understand that atheists are a disparate group with nothing in common other than a non-belief in god. It is therefore impossible for the actions of any one atheist to reflect upon others unless they specifically endorse it. Furthermore, the concept of placating theists is repulsive. Do they go about their business and try to keep things friendly with people who don’t share their (moronic) beliefs? Do they bollocks. Well, some of them do, but as a whole religious organizations go out of their way to condemn others. Take the homosex for example. If they are not doing it (many of them are, but that’s another story) what the fuck does it have to do with them? And yet warriors for Jeebus will come out en masse to protest a civil union between homosexuals. What understanding people they must be to stick their arrogant stuck up noses in where it is not wanted and has no business at all. Intolerance of other religions and the godless is actually built into their big book of bullshit. The fundamental basis of faith is that the faithful are in possession of an absolute authority and truth, and being absolute there is absolutely no room for error or compromise whatsoever. That means that religious cunts cannot be reasoned with, and if their rules say that a certain group of people are evil or should be condemned, then that’s the end of it. And these are the people whom those crying pussies say I should be nice to in order for us to all get along. Forget it dickwads, it’s just not on the fucking cards. Not my card though, but gods cards. That’s like saying you should be grateful to the big biker dude who fucks you up the arse in jail because he gave you a reacharound. I think not. I have no wish to associate with those who are willing to ignore reason and embrace such an obvious lie that one wonders how they can even bring themselves to talk about Jeebus in public. The same crying pussies then go on to say that we can never expect theists to “de-convert” if all we do is tell them they are stupid assholes. So fucking what? I’m not in the de-conversion game. It’s not my business to change their minds and I would not expect them to listen to me any more than I would them. If you choose to be a fucking douchegoblin then that is your right Just don’t expect people to think it’s a good idea. It’s impossible to have a reasonable exchange of ideas with anyone who believes that there are any absolutes. Once someone is convinced that they are absolutely right about something they can then justify anything at all. Such people are dangerous. They are the ones who fly planes into buildings, blow up abortion clinics, murder homosexuals and paint swastikas on synagogues. Most religious people aren’t that extreme, but they do have the mistaken belief that they are in possession of an absolute truth, and that belief is the seed from which the vilest aspects of humanity can grow. So, crying pussies, excuse me if I choose not to encourage this sort of cretinism by dignifying it. I see it as the same as racism of homophobia once were. When it was socially acceptable to be a racist a lot of people were. And a lot of children learned to be that way too. Now that it is not socially acceptable racism is on the decline. When religious beliefs are openly mocked and revealed as the irrational, contradictory and fraudulent horseshit they so clearly are then perhaps we will finally emerge from the dark ages of the human race into a world where ancient goat herding zombies have no bearing on society. Fuck all theists, even the nice ones.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Xian douchegobblers can go hang.

Nice illustration. Very Christmasy. It looks like SuperMario Brothers got into some angel dust and Indian food.

Anonymous said...

So the atheists even over at "raving atheist" are pussies, too?

Wow, you people suck. And if you're looking for homosex, Choobus, you can suck my monstrous cock. I'm not gay, but since you wear panties, I might make an exception and let you swallow my holy load, fucktard.

Choobus said...

Christs warrior (aka Cumchugger Jones) of course you're not gay. You're too stupid to be gay. For you being forced to suck the sweat from an old mans wrinkled ballsack is just a part of your sunday worship. We get it numbnuts, but you really should seek therapy. Not for the trauma of being fucked in the arse by priests (ssince you actually like that a lot) but to help you get over your demented god delusions.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing that a Christmas card from me would be unwelcome?

Ok. You are off my preferred atheist list.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Again and again and agin, you are my Atheist Lord Choobus.

Theists are cunts. They need to be put down or they need to come to the real light, where there-is-NO-FUCKING-GOD!

Luis Cayetano said...

Ummmm, Christian warrior, you DO know that "fucktard" is reserved for us atheists to insult people like you, don’t you? You'll have to think of another put-down, I'm afraid. "Atheist" and "fucktard" are mutually exclusive, and I say this only because we don't believe in talking snakes, a worldwide flood where Noah crammed 10,000,000 species onto a single creaky wooden boat and lived to tell the tale, 900 year-old patriarchs, virgin birth, and stoning children for smiting their parents. I'll tale reality any day.
If you're going to use the word, at least have the human decency to donate to the Richard Dawkins Foundation, to help end the plague of ignorance. Donate until it hurts, as the televangelists would say. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

lui,

Since you seem to enjoy believing in nothing so much, you won't mind bending over and dropping trou' for a moment while I spank your retarded atheist ass.

Now continue to worship a self-proclaimed physics professor who can't even fucking spell.

Ignorant outcasts.

Anonymous said...

Christ "warrior," are you sure that your buddy Jesus will be happy seeing waltz in here and calling us names? Isn't that a no no in the bible?

Choobus said...

christs cumchugger, you make the baby jesus cry with your idiocy. But you make your dad smile when you wank him off. Swings and roundabouts innit. CUNT

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I'm being put down by a retarded gay "physicist" and a douchebag who thinks he's a fucking ninja.

Nice crowd. Fucking dolts.

Anonymous said...

I guess we're a bunch of gay physicists and douchbag ninjas, than why are you wasting your time with us? Are we some kind of a threat to you?

By the way you still haven't answered my other question.

Choobus said...

hey tardo chuggins, when I call you a cunt that is actually a compliment for someone as rank as you. Deal with it shitgoblin

Luis Cayetano said...

"Since you seem to enjoy believing in nothing so much,"

Do I? That's news to me. Please, tell me what else I believe in. Fundamentalists have gotten pretty much everything else wrong, maybe you can do better here. (it should be evident that I strongly oppose arse-raping grandmothers, so please leave that out) I can hardly "enjoy" believing in nothing when it's not what I believe in the first place. It's kind of like asking a neo-Nazi "why do you love Jews so much?" or George Bush "why don't you follow your faith when formulating foreign policy?"

"you won't mind bending over and dropping trou' for a moment while I spank your retarded atheist ass."

I don't mind letting you arse hump me as you would so dearly love, but be warned that I just went to the toilet and I did a pretty bang-up job of wiping my crap hole.

"Ignorant outcasts."

There you go, that's got more of a chime to it. (though nothing like the musical melody of fucktard or fundie-fuck) Putting fucktard and atheist together just can't feel right. I mean, let's think about it. It would be like putting "creationism" followed immediately by "is a well thought out scientific theory" and feeling good about it. You have to be either completely ignorant about it (which is no shame; we're all ignorant about certain things) or else you have to be an obnoxious arsehole. Logical.

"Now continue to worship a self-proclaimed physics professor who can't even fucking spell."

I don't even know who he is. If I never did worship him, then I can hardly "continue" doing so. Again, logical. I gather though that logic is not one of your strong points. Please man, just stick to what you know, and no one has to get embarrassed. PLEASE. And do what I say. Make that donation.

Anonymous said...

fucking christ's warrior....FUCKING IDIOT!
Go and fuck your ugly mother you son of a bitch!

Anonymous said...

Tonight before you tell your prayers, don't forget to clean off of your mouth your mother's cum. Christ might get jealous, you know? He's a jealous god.

Anonymous said...

Great! Now it's a retarded "physicist," a wannabe ninja, and a gay biker.

Sounds like the beginning to an unfunny joke.

Losers.

Choobus said...

don't forget the demented godidiot. You need a clown for the punchline stupido.

Anonymous said...

christ's warrior said...
Great! Now it's a retarded "physicist," a wannabe ninja, and a gay biker.

Sounds like the beginning to an unfunny joke.


LMAF!!! oh CW you crack me up like a christian has never done before. Boy, we are sure doing a good job at making you miserable, arent we?

By the way it's samurai, not ninja.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my bad. You're a 21 year old New York samurai, not ninja. My mistake.

So why did you become an atheist, Jew Mike? Did God make your cock too small? Is that why you like to play with your phallic-shaped items?

Try swallowing your ninja-sword like you swallow Choobus' cock. Cum-guzzling half-wit.

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck is Jew Mike?

Anonymous said...

whydoyoudenyGODCHOOBISHEisyourcreatorandHEwillletyouliveforeverthereisnogreatersinthandenyingGODitisworsethanrapehomosexualityandmurderGODdoesnotwantyoutogotohellbutifyoudenyHIMHEwilldenyyouofeverlastinglife
choobisifyoureapentnowacceptGODandstoptheblasphemycalledANALGODwillforgiveyouHEforgavemeafteriengagedinpremaritalsexandHEwillforgiveyouofyourhomosexualityandgodlessyoumighthavenotbeabletoproveGODwiththenonsenceknownasSCIENCE
butheistherelookaroundyouandyouseeGodaroundyouinthetreesskyandpeopleallSCIENCEisevilitisacompleatewasteoftimeallyouneedtoknowisGODbutknowingGodisjustthefirststepintoHEAVENyoumustalsobelieveinhissonJESUSCHRISTyoumustaccepthathedied
foryouontheCROSSandrosebacktolifeafterTHREEDAYSonlywhenyouacceptJESUSandGODyouwillachieveeverlastinglifeCHOOBISibeliveyouwillreturntoGODonedayijusthopeitisnottolateforyoursoul

Choobus said...

cunts warrior is really spending a lot of time here at the chooblog. I hope you learn something, like what a shitstain you are and how your parents lied to you about everything. I don't mean when your dad said he wouldn't come in your mouth, I mean when they tol you jeebus loves you. It's all made up fool! You have to be brainwashed to think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Choobus, can I suck your throbbing member?

Choobus said...

Only if you have a note from Jeebus

Anonymous said...

Christ warrior, correct me if I'm wrong but you sound like you're either dying for attention, or you feel the need to prove yourself. Why? Are suffering from self esteem problems, or depression. Have you been abused as a child, raped, molested, rejected on every date, or severely bullied in school? Cause these kind of issues can very likely lead to this kind of behavior I am receiving from you CW.

Maybe I can help you, why don't you contact me privately so we can discuss your issues, and maybe I can recommend you some descent therapies. Deal?

I mean you really sound like you have serious issues, and I think you need help. So in anycase CW, for now just go out, relax, and find something to do. Thrust everything is gonna be ok.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Choobus, you figured out how to type my name and make it look like I said something that I didn't. You're a talented, talented man.

Choobus said...

As if retard. There's nothign I can make up that would make you look like more a twat than you already do. Nice try though numbnuts. For a cretin like you that was almost creative.....

Anonymous said...

Just joshin' ya. I really do want to suck your cock, and lick your balls too.

Choobus said...

if you want me to believe you why don't you get a unique name. I don't want any fake christ warriors licking my massive balls.

Anonymous said...

Choobus, you should have your fecal obsession looked into. You need help.

Do you smother JU Mike's cock in feces before you shove it down your throat?

Shit-loving outcasts.

Anonymous said...

Sounds kinky. Can I join in?

Luis Cayetano said...

Do you, CW, in that tiny, insignificant brain of yours, equate "outcast" with "arsehole"? The fact that us non-ignorants are deemed outcasts is a measure of the childish crap that's accumulated in your head and that of people like you. If anything, it makes YOUR lot (fundies) arseholes. I'm not saying you are arseholes, i'm saying that IF anything, it makes your lot arseholes.

And have you forgotten that Jesus himself was an outcast? If you'd lived back in that time, you'd be one of those screaming for his crucifixion. In other words, you’re a hypocrite and a coward.

Anonymous said...

What a dead fucking blog. You outcasts in the Lolipop Guild wouldn't have shit to talk about if it weren't for me.

Fucking idiots.

Choobus said...

Christs Loser, why do you come here then assclown? I agree that you are shit and we have been talking baout you, but like a fart in an elevator, you are just there, stinking the place up.

Choobus said...

YNM Christs bumboy, the apsotles, they are all turds of one sort or another, but they all stink of the same shit

Anonymous said...

Choobus, please update your blog.

Choobus said...

yes sir

Anonymous said...

I'm serious Choobus. This blog is the only reason your not going to hell. Update it Choobus.

Choobus said...

suck my salty ballsack god, I want to go to hell.

Choobus said...

but I will update anyway. Soon. God, you must have faith in me, or I won't have any chice but to smite you.

Smite you good.

Innit.