A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
While taking a shit today I found myself wondering, "who is the biggest cunt out of Mother Theresa and Ann Coulter. They are both well known as self righteous whores. Ann (or Andy as heshe likes to be called in private) is obviously an idiot, but that does not mitigate his/her cunt quotient. Similarly, Mother Fucker Theresa is a hypocritical colon fister and pony felcher. She even faked her own death so she could enjoy becoming a saint (as this recent undoctored photo of her on holiday clearly proves).
It is well known that this smug cunt was a total bitch, and she was caught more than a dozen times performing fellatio on so-called untouchables in exchange for soup. There is also hard evidence that while she collected a great deal of money for "charity" almost none of it was used to help people in dire poverety. She is known to have had a toilet made of solid gold, and to have used live Minks instead of toilet paper. Rumours have it that she ate homeless people and sacrificed virgins in order to retain her lithe figure. By practically any standards this certainly qualifies her as a right fucking cunt.
Andy is indeed a formidable opponent when it comes to a contest of cuntosity. As a borderline retard he/she has made a living writing books about things that normal people would be ashamed to even think about.. In some cases he/she will simply copy from others. It is evidence of retardation that he/she expected to get away with this.
So, Who is the biggest cunt? I cannot say. Let history decide. Or better yet, let the decider decide for he is very well qualified when it comes to judging cunts.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Whilst taking a shit this morning I was given a sign from God. Had this been the end of it I would be on my way to church right now to praise the lord and find out when I can start assfucking young choir boys. However, it seems that Allah (poo be upon him) is aware of my awesomness and didn't want to lose me to the Christ punchers, so he also sent me a sign. Now I don't know whom to praise.
One thing is for sure though. These signs are genuine miracles, and I most certainly did not draw them on toilet paper and then put them on top of a shit I had just done. That did not happen. The shit came off my arse and onto the shit rag in these amazing pictoral messages from god, and that's that. (Anyone who does not believe this will burn in hell.) It is a bit odd that Jesus decided to send me a sign insulting muhammed, and vice versa, but I suppose those guys are practically obliged to work in mysterious ways.
Well, I have to tell God and Allah to go and fuck themselves (which presumably they are able to do). If there was only one game in town I'd have to suck it up and join in, but with all these dieties hanging around I see no reason to pick one. They are all cockmunchers anyway, so instead of being into jizzlam or zombie worship it seems much better to sit back and watch them fight each other. Indeed, I should like to see religiots competing in some sort of fight to the death so they can finally establish which diety is the bestest of all. Maybe then I'll get on board with the winner, but why risk angering Jeebus by getting a reacharound from mohammed (or moohamhead or whatever his fucking name is)? So all you almighty bastards can stick your signs and portents right up your godholes. If you want me to join your retarded religon send me cash mother fuckers. And instead of sending messages via shit, or piss stained walls or grilled cheese sandwiches, why not use a nice big pair of jugs?