A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Amazing sign from god AND allah!


Whilst taking a shit this morning I was given a sign from God. Had this been the end of it I would be on my way to church right now to praise the lord and find out when I can start assfucking young choir boys. However, it seems that Allah (poo be upon him) is aware of my awesomness and didn't want to lose me to the Christ punchers, so he also sent me a sign. Now I don't know whom to praise.
One thing is for sure though. These signs are genuine miracles, and I most certainly did not draw them on toilet paper and then put them on top of a shit I had just done. That did not happen. The shit came off my arse and onto the shit rag in these amazing pictoral messages from god, and that's that. (Anyone who does not believe this will burn in hell.) It is a bit odd that Jesus decided to send me a sign insulting muhammed, and vice versa, but I suppose those guys are practically obliged to work in mysterious ways.

Well, I have to tell God and Allah to go and fuck themselves (which presumably they are able to do). If there was only one game in town I'd have to suck it up and join in, but with all these dieties hanging around I see no reason to pick one. They are all cockmunchers anyway, so instead of being into jizzlam or zombie worship it seems much better to sit back and watch them fight each other. Indeed, I should like to see religiots competing in some sort of fight to the death so they can finally establish which diety is the bestest of all. Maybe then I'll get on board with the winner, but why risk angering Jeebus by getting a reacharound from mohammed (or moohamhead or whatever his fucking name is)? So all you almighty bastards can stick your signs and portents right up your godholes. If you want me to join your retarded religon send me cash mother fuckers. And instead of sending messages via shit, or piss stained walls or grilled cheese sandwiches, why not use a nice big pair of jugs?

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess that proves that God does anal.

Evil_Mage_Ra said...

It's a miracle! And since you said you didn't just draw them yourself, it must be true! Praise Jesallah!

By the way, fellow RA members, youneedmercy and/or atheistsarebad have started falsely posting as others by clicking "Other" and adding the appropriate Blogger profile under "Website". But if you have a snazzy avatar like mine, the fakes should be easy to spot.

Choobus said...

YNM, if you don't stop being suck a cumchugger I'll fuck you up like the bitch you are.

IHATE said...

HOMO AND CHOOBUS

I HATE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HAVE TO HURT MYSELF TO GET THROUGH THE DAY. I AM CONSUMED WITH MY HATE FOR YOU. I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY TO EXPRESS JUST HOW MUCH I HATE THE BOTH OF YOU. ALL I DO 24 HOURS A DAY IS HATE YOU. I CAN NOT SLEEP OR EAT BECAUSE OF THE HATE I HAVE FOR YOU. YOU SICKEN ME.

Choobus said...

with all that hate you must be really really religious. Have you considered becoming pope? Or perhaps blowing yourself up?

Evil_Mage_Ra said...

It's nice to know the awesome Chooblog is making an impact on the world! :)

Ihate, sounds like you have a particularly bad case of demonic possession. ;)

Anonymous said...

It is the Almighty God, the One to whom all mankind is responsible, who has defined homosexuality as a crime

Lev 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

An abomination!!! These are the strong words God uses for this nasty deed. America is atleast standing firm against it by condeming gay marriage. That is the reason why God allows America to remain strong.

Anyone who promotes homosexuality should be arrested, they are a danger to society!

Anonymous said...

This site should be shut down. It promotes all that is wrong in the world!

Anonymous said...

Your fighting a losing cause here. Religion has kicked your asses!

You can not win.

Choobus said...

what choo talking 'bout anonymous?

religon has kicked our arses like Gary Coleman has managed his finances.

Anonymous said...

What I mean is you are a very very small minority. You always will be. You have lost. Normal people believe in a God.

sinistral said...

What have we lost? Why are you so concerned? Just go to your little church and stick your head in a hole and pray.
The IHATE post is hilarious. Keep up the hate, you will probably be dead soon. No loss there.

HomoCyclist said...

This is to IHATE and all those motherfucker anonymous christians that post here:

FUCK YOU! I wish that Alah and Jesus fuck you all up your asses until you bleed profusely.

Although I doubt Jesus and Alah will ever have a good hard on. They like it up the ass themselves, you know?

Anonymous said...

Hello you nasty homo so glad to see you defend your pervertedness with us.

You sicken me. You are an abomination.

thetruthword said...

Homo bait,

Why have you not repented of this yet?

I have given you all the right words and you know it is wrong. Just let it go.

thetruthword said...

You really have lost this battle. It was lost before you were ever born. God is here to stay, because He is real. He will be forever.

No matter what you do you can not defeat God.

TheJudge said...

If your almighty cunt is not defeatable why does "he" need you to defend him you cunt?

Evil_Mage_Ra said...

YNM,

The truth of the matter is, you have absolutely no objective proof for God's existence. The only "reason" you cling to the Bible is to justify your irrational hatred towards homosexuals.

Where this hatred comes from, I don't know, though there's good evidence to suggest that "homophobes" react most strongly to depictions of homoeroticism--that is, they are more aroused than the general public to scenes of what they claim to hate!

There's no need to fear these urges of yours. With the advent of online dating, it's easier than ever to satisfy your desires for discreet man-love! Go ahead--find solace in the arms of the burly lumberjacks that populate your most forbidden masturbatory fantasies!

Now if you excuse me, there are some hot Christian boys that desperately need me to show them the essence of true paradise! ;-)

"Once you go gay, there's no other way!"

Anonymous said...

Choobus... this thing fucking rocks! I need to remember to come back here more often than I do.

Dick Cheese be upon him

-Lost Pepsi

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

Put your toilet on EBay. See how much you can get for it. I bid 5 bucks.

Choobus said...

5 bucks! For five bucks you can use my toilet (number 1 only. add 500% shit surcharge if you want to drop the kids off at the pool). For 5 Canadian dollars you may look at my toilet, provided nobody is using it.....

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

Hey, I just wanted to get the bidding started.

inkadu said...

Boy, won't Captain Awesome be embarassed when Choobus gets a Fatwah first.

HomoCyclist said...

Oh man, this is so fucking funny.
You both, pathetic christian anonymous and youneedmercy are cunts! :lol:

Your foggett Jesus and cunt Allah must be really proud of both of you, you fucking clowns. :lol:

Your pathetic Gods DON'T EXIST. I, HOMOCYCLIST DO EXIST and I ROCK.

EAT SHIT YNM!

Brad89 said...

"I HATE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HAVE TO HURT MYSELF TO GET THROUGH THE DAY. I AM CONSUMED WITH MY HATE FOR YOU. I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY TO EXPRESS JUST HOW MUCH I HATE THE BOTH OF YOU. ALL I DO 24 HOURS A DAY IS HATE YOU. I CAN NOT SLEEP OR EAT BECAUSE OF THE HATE I HAVE FOR YOU. YOU SICKEN ME."

God damn!!! I thought Christians believed that atheists were the ones who sit in the corner with the razor at the wrist. I now know otherwise! You fucking freak.

Sincerely yours fucktard!

JU Mike said...

YOUNEEDANAL WROTE

"You really have lost this battle. It was lost before you were ever born. God is here to stay, because He is real. He will be forever.

No matter what you do you can not defeat God."

Can't defeat God? What are you talking about, I killed him yesterday and tossed his stinking corpse in your dumpster.

Choobus said...

A second look at those signs from gods made me realize that jesus deepthroats, so maybe kristianity is better than jizzlam after all

God of the Ass Gap said...

Dear Choobus,

it is obvious you've uncovered yet another one of the holy foretold sacred miracle excrement sacraments. Pedophile preists have verified this through use of their apologetic shitmatas in the press. Praise be to Jeediots everywhere who keep the farce, and praise the lard.

The ironic thing about this is people who get worked up over roasting on their tooth fairy, coming back with some sort of rightious indignation, as if being an angry religious cunt was proof of God. Well, perhaps it is. God is another word for insanely stupid hate. It's not even reasonable hate, like the kind one feels when someone keys the side of your car. This is God, the kind of insane hate people feel when someone makes fun of imaginary teletubbies, which leads them to car bomb neighbors, and raise discriminatory segregation laws against people living their normal lives.

Hate by any other name remains a pre-programmed battery acid response. Let us not hate the anal, and those who use anal as a means of spreading mutually consentualy enlightened ass cheeks of pleasure. Let us all hate the Jizzlammad Jeetardedly insane, and the actions sociopaths embark due to the insane.

Anonymous said...

Mercy, are you developing a split personality? Cause I got worried when you wanted to play Three Faces of Eve in the bedroom. I want to make sure all of your personalities remember the safeword.

Anonymous said...

So if I get arrested for promoting lesbianism, can I have a lady cop cuff me and strip-search me? Can she have a long baton? Then can she throw me in a cell with an athletic butch? Possibly another imprisoned lesbian?

Cause I'm telling you, nothing cures homosexual tendencies like being locked up with people your own gender.

Anonymous said...

Mercy, if you are in fact, a guy, then you've probably got a repressed lesbian wife that you met at the "ex"-gay support group. Could you introduce me?

Choobus said...

YNM, when you speak one is reminded of a jizzbumble.

If you don't know what jizzbumbles are you can see one for yourself the next time your uncle drops a spooge delivery deep in your bunghole. Basically, when you have just had an anal beef injection and your colon is full of sticky semen, you can make jizz bubbles comeout of your rectum with a controlled fart. These are called jizzbumbles and something similar seems to come out of your mouth.

Facehammer said...

"America is atleast standing firm against it by condeming gay marriage. That is the reason why God allows America to remain strong."

Then how come Britain is still as monstrously powerful? Most people here would either accept gay marriage or just wouldn't care. And we still rule the waves, with nuclear fucking submarines and aircraft carriers.

KrazyKristian said...

What do you think God is going to say to you at your judgment? Do you really expect Him to accept your apology? How many tears will you cry when you realize that your entry application to Heaven has been rejected?

thetruthword said...

Now, Now we can not talk about entry to heaven or hell that is reserved for God alone.

We can only tell people that they are not following the laws God has given and rebuke them for it!

thetruthword said...

Consider your foul website rebuked by the Word of God

Evil_Mage_Ra said...

I'm sure God has better things to do with his time than rebuke websites. There's war and disease to worry about, and God's goofing off on the Internet? Tsk, tsk, tsk! For shame!

JU Mike said...

"I'm sure God has better things to do with his time than rebuke websites. There's war and disease to worry about, and God's goofing off on the Internet? Tsk, tsk, tsk! For shame!"

If instead of helping with war and diseases, God is sitting in front of a computer all day, and playing video games? This could mean only one thing... God is President George W. Bush!!!!

Choobus said...

God is Bush?

Holy fuckin Jeebus

Choobus said...

"How many tears will you cry when you realize that your entry application to Heaven has been rejected?"

I suspect, not nearly as many as I cry laughiung at you and other imbeciles.


You religiot you! Thank you so much for the comedy, Praise Jeebus, Allah and Mumm-Ra. I love them all.

krazykristian said...

It's not too late for you, all you need is love in your heart. Obviously, you have not had an easy life, and you are taking your anger out on God. But if you are a loving person, He will forgive you. All you need to do is ask!

JU Mike said...

"It's not too late for you, all you need is love in your heart. Obviously, you have not had an easy life, and you are taking your anger out on God. But if you are a loving person, He will forgive you. All you need to do is ask!"

We don't believe in God for the same reason you don't believe in flying monkeys with super powers, is it really that hard to understand?

thetruthword said...

God gave us a book to know Him by. You just don't want to except it because you would have to follow the rules. Tell the truth, you like to sin, don't you?

That is satan grabbing ahold of you. Shake him off and come to God, that is the only way to redeem yourselves.

krazykristian said...

I'm pretty sure flying monkeys with superpowers never wrote a bible, and do not have billions of followers of their wisdom.

JU Mike said...

"I'm pretty sure flying monkeys with superpowers never wrote a bible, and do not have billions of followers of their wisdom."

What about Allah, what about Zeus, Osiris, and all those guys?

"God gave us a book to know Him by. You just don't want to except it because you would have to follow the rules. Tell the truth, you like to sin, don't you?

That is satan grabbing ahold of you. Shake him off and come to God, that is the only way to redeem yourselves."

How do you know it was from God? Consider the sourse, and by the way its "accept" not "except."

Choobus said...

if jeebus was a flying monkey with super powers instead of a fictional cumchugger I might have more respeck for Christians. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Word

krazykristian said...

I'm praying for you all. I wish you could know the happiness of a relationship with Christ.

Choobus said...

does the love of christ hurt your ringpiece?

krazykristian said...

I don't know what a ringpiece is, but the love of Christ hurts nothing.

Professor Chaos said...

What the fuck, can anyone else get on the RA forums?

Evil_Mage_Ra said...

I can't, either......glad to see I'm not the only one who thought to come here first! :lol:

Choobus said...

How can you be a true christian and not know what a ringpiece is. In order to worship Jeezuz are you not required to felch a priest at christmas to celebrate the lord coming into this world?

TheJudge said...

"ihate" is fucking hilarious.
If this person is indeed the "real deal" then this is very fucking sad because they won't be around for long: Razor blades / craft knives can be tricky things to wield non-lethally.

Solidusspriggan said...

Praise Allah/God, its a miracle, SELL THAT SHIT ON EBAY!

Newport Vanderhaden said...

I would just like to say may all you worthless pieces of ungodly atheist shit burn in fucking hell forever!

Jesus has blessed me with many things, like a yacht, an incorporated bank, 6 rent houses, and a 1.2 million dollar mansion with white premium carpet and more money than you can shake your nasty, feces dripping dicks at!

My Jesus will send you to hell forever for your wickedness and abominable atheism! May you rot forever in a seething caldron of fire prepared for the devil and his angels!

Newport Vanderhaden.

Choobus said...

hey, newport, do you do dad anal?

Anonymous said...

Remember the Feederz, anyone?

"Jesus enters from the rear, f*cking you in the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!"

"'cause he's just another faggot, oooh oooh, in just another mask!"

Anonymous said...

Personally religion has no meaning to me, but I understand it nonetheless.
But to desecrate Mother Theresa?
I think you need to grow up and look outside of yourself.
You are the joke, you moron.

I'm reporting your website.
and thanks for the laugh, at how ignorant and closed minded you are.

Sincerely,
Nadia

Anonymous said...

arabication, and semitization is a bomb is it's TURBAN, come on there may be bands of preachers of devil god, allah, el or whatever it is, but it is just over. If these pervert scums become really itched on world politics they will be paid for it with a shed of demon blood of theirs flooding out, quantity of human shit matters nothing but, how bulky cultural genocider blood flood will be. IT IS -OVER- PREACHERS, you are finally coming to an absolute END in favor of humanity not animalism. Your deities that has no asset out of demonization, can't be updated as is. FREEDOM RULES.