A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Amazing sign from god AND allah!
Whilst taking a shit this morning I was given a sign from God. Had this been the end of it I would be on my way to church right now to praise the lord and find out when I can start assfucking young choir boys. However, it seems that Allah (poo be upon him) is aware of my awesomness and didn't want to lose me to the Christ punchers, so he also sent me a sign. Now I don't know whom to praise.
One thing is for sure though. These signs are genuine miracles, and I most certainly did not draw them on toilet paper and then put them on top of a shit I had just done. That did not happen. The shit came off my arse and onto the shit rag in these amazing pictoral messages from god, and that's that. (Anyone who does not believe this will burn in hell.) It is a bit odd that Jesus decided to send me a sign insulting muhammed, and vice versa, but I suppose those guys are practically obliged to work in mysterious ways.
Well, I have to tell God and Allah to go and fuck themselves (which presumably they are able to do). If there was only one game in town I'd have to suck it up and join in, but with all these dieties hanging around I see no reason to pick one. They are all cockmunchers anyway, so instead of being into jizzlam or zombie worship it seems much better to sit back and watch them fight each other. Indeed, I should like to see religiots competing in some sort of fight to the death so they can finally establish which diety is the bestest of all. Maybe then I'll get on board with the winner, but why risk angering Jeebus by getting a reacharound from mohammed (or moohamhead or whatever his fucking name is)? So all you almighty bastards can stick your signs and portents right up your godholes. If you want me to join your retarded religon send me cash mother fuckers. And instead of sending messages via shit, or piss stained walls or grilled cheese sandwiches, why not use a nice big pair of jugs?