A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Smirking assholes





While sitting on the toilet this morning my thoughts turned to religion, as they often do when I am immersed in a cloud of toxic ass gas. For some reason I had a mental image of the pope in Turkey sitting on a tiny toilet shitting his guts out after a dodgy kebab, and laughing like the demented sithlord he is. Despite being an ex nazi, a well known cunt and possibly a goat rimmer, he is not a stupid man. Also, he must have access to a lot of secret documents in the Vatican secret stash (not to mention some of the finest porn known to humanity). Therefore, he simply has to know that the Catholic church is a massive scam. Why else is he constantly smirking? He’s like someone walking out of a casino with a ton of money after a rigged card game. He wants to burst out laughing, but he can’t because it might ruin the con. One of the only times he can let loose is on the the crapper (which back at his pad is probably made out of solid gold) so it is very likely that while he is emptying the bomb bays he is also laughing like a maniac. The guy who has to wipe his holiness’s arse must think he’s crazy.

Even less intelligent con merchants have been known to have the same kind of smirk. Just look at G W bush. The man would have to be on his best form to qualify as a moron. The fact that he is in charge of anything more powerful than the dildo he uses on his own ass is one of the strangest things ever to happen. The man is beyond stupid. He probably thinks Hemmingway’s “A Farewell to Arms” is the courageous story of a quadriplegic with a heart of gold. But he’s always grinning. Why? Because he got away with the biggest heist in the history of the world. Him and a few thousand of his friends managed to rob trillions of dollars from the US treasury. They may only have been able to collect a fraction of the money they looted, but a fraction of trillions is still a pretty good haul. Mission accomplished? Hell yes. Not the mission you were thinking about though. No wonder the chimp can’t stop smiling. One of the biggest morons ever was a part of an amazing sting. And he got to fuck some A-rabs in the process. The next time you see someone silently smirking to themselves remember, they are probably up to something. It might be worthwhile giving them a bit of a smack just in case they deserve it.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

don't forget Satan Choobis. He will be smirking when he welcomes you and all atheist in to hell. But you wont be smiling.

antix said...

No smiles for us? No, you're probably right. Such things are reserved for your kind as you wait in line to have jesus ass fuck you for all eternity.

We on the other hand are aware of reality and that such fucktarded concepts as heaven and hell are simply made-up bullshit to make stupid people behave themselves.

Professor Chaos said...

Thanks for the warning, anonymous!

Science loves you, you know. All you have to do is accept Darwin into your heart and you shall verily be rewarded!

Science bless!

reconciled said...

I smile for you atheists all the time.

Seriously though, would you really want to live in a world with these christians after they found the truth out.

They would probably be comitting mass murders and huge animal orgies.

The Real Reconciled

Anonymous said...

Come on anonym, what about me?

How come I don't get any hell threats? I want to be evil too.

reconciled said...

I may be a cocksucking homo, but I still smile when I think about how atheists will burn in hell. Sure, I gargle with the semen of a thousand sailors, but I plan to repent. So fuck off and die choobus, you handsome devil.

Bazarov said...

nice, "Farewell to Arms" reference. is it just me or are all those claims about Hemingway writing in short, terse sentences a bunch of bullshit? in the story you mentioned, he spends the first three pages just describing the scenery!

Charles said...

Choobus, can we speculate about what's in those secret documents - do you think they have a list of the popes who actually believed in God?

Brad89 said...

Hmm... I was unaware that somebody as holy as the pope had the ability to crap.

Choobus said...

I can only salivate over the secret documents those cunts must have. After all, things like th einquisition don't just happen. Someone gave strict orders about exactly what was to be done. And there are many rumours about secret gospels that have been covered up becasuse they report Jeebus as saying shit like don't worship ih a church but let your relationship with god be personal. The church obviously don't want that sort of thing getting out. IF it could be proved that they knowingly suppressed the words of the J man for their own ends (or at least words with as much reason to be attributed to him as the other buy bull bollocks) then their hypocrisy would be undeniable.

The pope is such an obvious cunt it's almost not worth pointing put. Kindng of saying Paris Hilton is a skank, or Rosie odonnel is a fat talentless carpet munching bitch.

Christ's Warrior said...

How does it feel to be such an outcast? You stupid fucking atheists have no hope and nobody to turn to.

The rest of the world thinks that you're all a bunch of dipshits, and I concur.

Choobus said...

Oh no, a little retard who is a warrior for a made up polesmoker agrees with some dadwanking child molesting cat felching cumchuggers that people who don't believe what they believe may be dipshits! My world is coming to an end.

Hey Christ warrior, I know you do anal, but do you do it willingly now, or does your priest still have to threaten you?

Anonymous said...

Why thank you Christ warrior for that nice greeting. How does it feel to be an outcast? Pretty great actually, and I'm happy to hear your views.

christ's warrior said...

Strange question, but since you ask, yes, I do indeed do anal. Wherever your grandmother is willing to take my cock, I'm willing to give it to her.

Atheists are no different than the Amish, really. You're a vast minority with ridiculous beliefs, and the overwhelming majority of the rest of the world thinks you're fucking retarded.

Brad89 said...

"Atheists are no different than the Amish, really. You're a vast minority with ridiculous beliefs, and the overwhelming majority of the rest of the world thinks you're fucking retarded."

Last I checked, we (very, very sadly...) are the minority, yet we aren't the zombie worshippers. Go figure? I mean, really, how the hell could that be the actual reality of the situation? It's sorta scary...

And also, to be called a retard by a man who believes Shrek's sidekick is based on a true story and that the Sun has the ability to pause in the sky (because, after all, the Sun really is in the sky) is... Damn, what word is there that could put this into perspective? Rediculous? No, fucking rediculous. Yeah, that works.

Smellyoldgit said...

Time for a ChooPoll.

Christ's Warrior is a Cunt ?

Yes - Tick Here
More Yes - Tick Here
Very Yes - Tick Here
No - Fuck Off

Christ's Warrior said...

"Rediculous"

What is that, a fucking color?

Choobus said...

Christs warrior, if you are tyhe best Christ has to fight fior him I'm joining the scientologists. Their lawyers will take your jew zombie, chew him up and shit him out and make god eat the fecal residue.

Does it stink all the time when you have shit for brains?

8:57 AM

christ's warrior said...

"Christs warrior, if you are tyhe best Christ has to fight fior him I'm joining the scientologists. Their lawyers will take your jew zombie, chew him up and shit him out and make god eat the fecal residue.

Does it stink all the time when you have shit for brains?"

Someone with 4th-grade level spelling is going to call someone else "shit for brains?" LOL!

You people are fucking abhorrent. Your country doesn't want you, in fact, no other country wants you. You have no place in society whatsoever, you hopeless fucks.

If this 'Choobus' character is the best leader you idiots could find, you're in real trouble. Fucking morons.

Choobus said...

what's the matter jeebus boy, does the troof make your little brain (which is apprantly made of shit) hurt?

IT must make you crazy when you get those flashes of understanding that everything you believe in is a corck of fictional shit made up by goat herding nomads centuries ago. I bet it makes you so despondent you feel like getting in a boat and just sailing off the edge of the world.

Try and work harder on your com back numbnuts. You're not doing very well at all so far.

christ's warrior said...

I'm not sure what a "com back" is, though it may have something to do with the sticky stuff on your grandmother's back when I'm through with her asshole.

By the way, fucktard: mathematics, astronomy, language, navigation, time-keeping, etc, etc, etc, were also either made up or discovered by goat-herding nomads, dipshit.

Professor Chaos said...

christ's warrior:

Exactly how are you a "warrior" for Christ? What is your mission here on Earth?

Arch Enemy said...

By the way, fucktard: mathematics, astronomy, language, navigation, time-keeping, etc, etc, etc, were also either made up or discovered by goat-herding nomads, dipshit.

That may be true but in case you haven't noticed, mathematics, astronomy, language, navigation and time-keeping have actually advanced since then. Cunt.

Choobus said...

Christs bumboy/warrior, is that all you got? Fucking lame dude. It seems that your indoctrination into strict literal interpretation prevents you from being able to figure out what words are meant when there is a typo. What a cint you must be. A total cint.

Or maybe it is your tiny excrement filled head that makes it hard for you. (not hard like your priest does when he fills you with the body of krist).

Get back to your zombie goat herding worship retard, and leave the serious discussion to the atheists.

anya said...

does christ really tell his warriors to go around ass raping old ladies? Is that in the bible somewhere?

christ's warrior said...

I have the free will to ass-rape Choobus' grandmother whenever I wish.

Is yours busy?

anya said...

Typical xian.

Choobus said...

Sorry to tell you this Christ Retard, but my grandmother passed away many years ago, so your sick desire to anally rape her would involve some digging. However, being a christian you are probably too stupid to operate machinery as complicated as a shovel, so she's probably safe from your Christmania. However, if it is a buggery you want why not visit your local bishop? Otherwise you'll just have to wait until your dad gets out of jail you stupid shitgoblin.

Lui said...

Choobus, I think that this site is extremely and unnecessarily offensive, but I couldn't help laughing despite myself when you wrote that the pope is possibly a goat rimmer. That reference to "Farewell to Arms" was absolute gold. Bush really is an intellectual amoeba, and I can't help thinking that people who vote for him should be sterilised in order to preserve the integrity of the human gene pool and to ensure the survival of the human species. But then I remember that stupidity isn't just in the genes, but also in the memes. It's so much easier to believe than to think, hence all the religious fanatics.

Anyway, this exchange between Christ's warrior and the rest of you is absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work everyone (that goes for the xians too).

I myself am an atheist, but I don't think I really want to try the water here because I'll just end up saying some things that I'll regret and feel bad about later, being the nice person I am. I also happen to believe that arse-raping grandmothers is just plain wrong, and utterly beyond the pale. It's not something Christ would have endorsed, so if you're a xian, don't do it. Just so everyone knows, I could fart right now, but people are in the room.

Finally, I've read that the Czech Republic is the most atheistic country in the world, with something like 60 percent of the population not adhering to any belief in a deity. How about that?

Choobus said...

this site is not offensive enough. Christians and muslims are the biggest assholes in the solar system and they desewrve much worse. If anything I am too nice.

test said...

Fuck you Choobis!

Anonymous said...

Although we may honor and revere the Choobus, that doesn't mean we think he is a god. He may be evil, but he is not THAT evil, only the good kind.

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