Imagine a disheveled and filthy hobo (FH) approaches you, a normal person (NP) on the street:
FH: My farts smell like a sunrise
NP: What? Get out of my way you rancid fool.
FH: Seriously, my farts smell like a beautiful sunrise. Take a whiff.
NP: I shall do no such thing. Now, be off with you, lest I give you a thrashing you won’t soon forget.
FH: Dude, you don’t know what you’re missing. This is soooooo good. Here take this and breathe in.
NP: What the buggery bollocks is that?
FH: It’s a plastic tube. It goes all the way up my ass, so you can get a good sampling from the source. Have a chug.
NP: I’ve never heard of anything so vile in all my life.
FH: Typical. How can you say that unless you try it? Once you go crack, you’ll never go back. I mean it, this will change your life.
NP: I dare say it would, by destroying my olfactory senses and rendering my mind unstable.
FH: No way dude, I’m totally serious, my farts are like the breathe of god. You have to take a drag, otherwise you’ll never know the love of the creator.
NP: Because I prefer not to inhale the gaseous emissions of your digestive system?
FH: The lord is everywhere, even in my ass. But my farts are special. I cut the one true cheese, and you are a fool if you won’t at least take a look and see the good news for yourself.
NP: I find it a bit strange that your farts supposedly smell so good, while the rest of your carcass emits a pervasive and rank odour. Indeed, this leads me to conclude that you are not being entirely honest, or at least that your brain works only in a limited capacity.
FH: My farts smell like a sunrise.
NP: I know, you said that already. By the way, I wasn’t aware that there was any particular smell associated with a sunrise. What does a sunrise smell like?
FH: My farts.
NP: Of course.
FH: you have to check it out. If you don’t your immoral soul is in danger
NP: Don’t you mean immortal?
FH: I know what I mean. You are evil, that’s why you don’t want to inhale the lord’s goodness.
NP: That really isn’t the reason, and if you don’t stop waving that disgusting ass tube in my face you’ll regret it.
FH: See how the presence of God angers you. Evil doer. Evil doer.
NP: It’s the presence of stank that angers me, by which I mean you of course.
FH: Inhale and be saved. What have you got to lose?
NP: My lunch, not to mention self respect and dignity. The idea of sucking your ass gas out of a plastic tube solely because you insist that it smells like a sunrise and is the breathe of god is beyond absurd. You can’t honestly think that any rational human being would entertain the notion.
FH: That’s where you’re wrong sinner. There are hundreds of wise people who have smelled the lord. Not everyone wants to go to hell.
NP: You lie. No normal person would willingly accede to such a vile practice.
FH: I speak the truth. My farts smell like a sunrise, and taste of eternal life. Don’t you want eternal life?
NP: What, smelling your ass for all eternity? No thanks. I’ll be more than happy to pass on into oblivion if that’s the alternative.
FH: For you the alternative is hell, where your nether regions are the playthings of twisted demons.
NP: Meh, compared to bum sucking that doesn’t seem so bad.
FH: Go then sinner, but know this: the lord came to you through me. The lord offered you to drinketh from his cup through me. The lord offered you eternal life in heaven through me, but you denied him. You turned away his light, and refused the sunrise farts of the holy guff, and for that you will be cast out.
NP: Ok, I’ll write that down when I get back to my home, where I live.
FH: and one other thing evil doer.
FH: Can you spare a dollar for a cup of tea guv?