A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Mommy, how are Christians made?

What does it take to turn an ordinary human being into a Christian? If you ask the Christ-punchers themselves they will of course tell you that the Lord came upon them bukkake style and filled their hearts with the Christlove. However, this is clearly inaccurate.

The vast majority of Christ-punching religiots were brainwashed by their parents and various priestly accomplices when they were children. This is a particularly heinous form of child abuse, especially when performed in conjunction with anal rape, as is so often the case in the catholic church of bum banditry. It’s difficult for some to break free of this early conditioning, and whatever one might think of the shit sucking dad wankers who worship Jesus, it has to be said that they have got their brainwashing skills perfected. They have had centuries to practice, of course, and some of their preferred methods (such as burning people, or simply torturing them) are no longer as efficacious.

In less fortunate parts of the world good old fashioned blackmail is still very popular in indoctrination by missionaries. These disgusting scum sucking cunts actually use food, medicine and other such fun items to force people to join their blatantly religious organizations. This is like sitting on a man’s face, forcing it underwater, and then allowing him to breathe farts straight from your arsehole. As repulsive as it may be, the alternative (death) is still worse. Typically the places where this sort of evil goes on are those countries that, by virtue of their anal rape, put the colon in colonial. After looting the natural resources, displacing the population and corrupting any fledgling governmental organizations the imperial powers simply fucked off (leaving a few guys to continue taking as much as possible out of the cookie jar). This lead to impoverished nations, a lack of education and, all too often, war. These are the conditions beloved by missionaries since prosperous, educated and healthy people have no need for their bullshit. Missionaries are like rapists who tell you they love you. But they get the job done. That’s why all the main Christ-punching churches love them. I hope that many of their converts are merely pragmatists who understand the greatest rip off ever told, but vulnerable people can be sucked in. That’s the whole point.

Fortunately many people who were brainwashed from childhood are able to break out of the cycle of retardation and become atheists. Since all religious faiths are untenable it might be expected that this is inevitable, but the power of childhood brainwashing is usually reinforced with threats of eternal damnation and of societal ills. Just try running for public office as a declared atheist. You’d have more luck saying you wanted to kill all fags because Jesus hates them. Yes, incredible as it may seem, people really are this fucking stupid, and it’s not always due to mental conditioning. There are some fucktards who are so cuntish that the only reasonable conclusion is that they are cunts. That they know their religiosity is a sham and don’t mind using it for their own benefit. Television evangelists? Clearly utter cunts. They live in huge mansions, drive top of the range cars and use live minks to wipe their corpulent arses. And morons continue to send them money! Ordinary stupidity cannot account for this. Benny Hinn! Thus guy sounds like a mentally challenged character from a soap opera, and he looks like he just emerged from a San Francisco Bath house. His “faith healing” has been exposed on numerous occasions as nothing more than bullshit (and on one occasion he is said to have killed a man by pushing him over on a stage while “healing” him). If this was a screenplay it would get laughed out of town, but it’s real! HOW STUPID CAN A HUMAN BEING BE AND STILL LIVE? Not this stupid. It’s got to be brainwashing or some other illicit manipulation.

If there is some truth to this Christ-punching, why don’t atheists ever spontaneously convert? I am much more likely to spontaneously combust than do that, and it is extremely rare for someone who has not been brainwashed to suddenly find the lord. This might appear to happen in prison, especially on death row, but can this really be said to be spontaneous? The parole boards do not seem to think so. Every now and then some pretentious polesmoker will get all “spiritual” and start talking shit about the cosmic forces of mother earth, and how maybe Jesus was here speaking for the planet. To these people I say “eat my sewage you fucking dildo”. This parsimonious intellectual feat is as impressive as lying on the floor and soiling yourself. Spirituality is simply amateur religion. Or, to put it another way, home made excrement.

So why are we surrounded by religiots? Because there are a lot of lying cunts around, and a lot of weak minded fools. These ARE the droids you’re looking for assholes. The human brain is very good at protecting itself. Not from a fist or a cock that went too far, but from comprehending an unpleasant reality. The ability of the mind to lie to itself is superior even to the ability of politicians to lie to everyone else. After years of being lied to by your family and priests and other supposedly trustworthy people, it’s simply easier to pretend that they were telling the truth rather than accept the reality. So where do Christians come from? They come from lies. Bullshit and lies. Fuck them all.


Lisa W. said...

"Fortunately many people who were brainwashed from childhood are able to break out of the cycle of retardation and become atheists. "

I am one...too bad there aren't more. Great post - you are hilarious (and serious at the same time - I love it!)

AnonyMyAss said...

This is bad Choobus. Someday the lord will cum down, and dildo me in my sleep. You'll see. After which, you'll regret your words. My God dildo is an awesome cock, and it loves me in my ass. It loves you too; you just have to be willing to open yourself up to it. Only fools say in their sphinctor there is no God dildo. Well, there definitely is, and I'm living proof. Halleblewya, his word is spoken.

Anonymous said...

Go to hell Choobus!

God loves you.

Choobus said...

anon, Sure, just tell me where it is.

There_Is said...

Hell, or church? Same difference; same fantasy.

The Judge said...

I'm curious about anon's latests drivel (nothing really new there but hey...)

Should Choobus go to "hell" because "god" loves him? I thought "hell" was a place "god" sent people "he" didn't like a psychotic warlord raping a small African village, executing innocents, this "god" charcter of yours apparently loves banishing things "he" doesn't like to a nasty place that "he" made (since "he" is the "creator" of everything).

How can Choobus go to "hell" if "god" really does love him?

For that matter how could any of us go to "hell" if "god" supposedly loves all of us?

You gotta love the fucking stupidity of the xian reich

Sieg Heil! Praise Jeebus! Sieg HEIL! Praise "god" Sieg HEIL! or go to "hell."


Culpeper said...

Benny Hinn! - Is that a typo for Benny Hill? Couldn't quite tell from the description.

The Judge said...

No it's not type o. Benny Hinn is indeed a super cunt and shit-all-overlord. Google or wiki his name
e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benny_hinn

and you'll see. He is the shitiest scum-sucking, shit-licking, dad-wanking, goat-reaming, turd-burglaring, fucking cum-guzzling cunt on TV.

He has many televangelist friends - they are all evil too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Televangelism#Scandals just look em up. Shit is easy to find with these money-hungry, bottome-feeding exploitative poor-raping cunts.

culpeper said...

Thanks, Judge ... although I was being a trifle 'tongue-in-cheek.'

4thgeneration said...

"This parsimonious intellectual feat is as impressive as lying on the floor and soiling yourself."

(*Wiping tears from my eyes*)

How unbelievably brilliant.

The Judge said...

I love trifle

Choobus said...

How cool would it be if the pope read the chooblog! MAybe if I put in some good stories about the Hitler youth he might be interested.

Kamikaze said...

Doesn't the pope still think the earth is flat? I'm not sure they know about computers or the internet yet...

The Judge said...

You should definitely e-mail the vatican Choob.

Choobus said...

Maybe I;'ll volunteer to be a catholic missionary!

The Judge said...

Internet Office: office@net.va
Pope's Personal e-mail: benedictxvi@vatican.va.

The Judge said...

Better eat some baked beans to get those bowels a rumblin'

jesusgurl6969 said...

OMG choobis ur sooooooooo mean!!! ur just mad cause u know ur going to H-E-doublehockeysticks!!! LOL OMG!!!!1

jesus luvs u!!!!!

Brad89 said...

Hey, Jesusgurl, u my-t B EZ-er to reed if u tuk uh grammar cl@$$. Whi don't u tri it?

Bi thu w@y, thay don't offur it at Sonday skool. Jezuz fukz u!

Anonymous said...

Forget you choobus, you are idiot. My parents wenton a 5 year mission for mormon church and helped many peoples. Your fart talk is disgusting and you are disgusting. Everything you say of God and Jesus is prove that you dont know what you are talking about. I pray for you and hope you read me and understand because you are on a path and you won't like what you find at end of it unless you change while you still can. What is it that give you right to say such nasty things about God and people who love god? Are you afraid of your own empty atheism? I think you is afraid and that is why you is say these things. You need help.

The Judge said...

MilitantAtheist/Professor Chaos, the "11 yr old anonymous poster" gag has run it's course ;o)

MA/Professor Chaos said...

Not me this time, Judge.

Anonymous said...

You are a nasty person. God will use you one day to show His love.

God will forgive you if you just ask.

Think about all the good the churches do. Have you done good for others?

Choobus said...

Have I "done good" for others? You're reading it speckle-dick.

The Judge said...

Holy Shitlord! A REAL Christer!....

*smacks lips in anticipation...*

The Judge said...

@ Anonymous coward:
What good do churches do exactly?
Let's see: butt-raping small children...indoctrinating a societal method of control driven by fear...altar boy "touching"...free wine...wasting time talking to an invisible sky daddy who isn't even there...

Which of these do you consider "good?"

I can only see one.

Anonymous said...

This blog does no good. It is full of perverted lies. Churches feed the hungery and clothe the poor. They help people through the rough times of life by telling them about God's love and the wonderful truth of heaven.

You really should be ashamed of these words you are using and the graphics that defile the love God has shown for us.

God will always forgive, just ask.

Anonymous said...

Is the judge your real name? Does it make you a coward to use it?

emr said...

Nobody wants your real name. We just want a tag so we can tell one anonymous theist from another.

Kamikaze said...

Anonymous, we'll all convert if you give us your irrefutable proof of god... which you surely have since you believe in him.


emr said...

Anonymous wrote:

"They help people through the rough times of life by telling them about God's love and the wonderful truth of heaven."

The utility of this depends on whether God exists or not. If he doesn't exist, then these churches are just instilling false hope. How is that good? Some of us prefer harsh reality over a comforting dream.

Choobus said...

anonymous cunt, we really don't weant to know who you are. With that level of godidiocy you're probably a congressman or something, and it's depressing to know that you and your filthy ilk infest all levels of society. However, as emr said, we would like to be able to distinguish between different arseholes. Christ knows we can't tell the difference based on your asinine posts as they are the same as all the other Jeetards. If you can't think of a username here are a few suggestions

assmonkey 69
Cum gurgler 101

whichever you feel best sums up your "personality".

God bless you: let him bless you with a biblical plague, or a tsunami or let him teach you humilioty by making you look like that dude from "the mask" (and I aint talking Jim Carey).

The Judge said...

Anon cunt wrote:
"This blog does no good."
Au contraire, I now have another outlet for all the hatred and frustration which boils in me at the continuation of humnaity to partake in fitule delusions: i.e. religion.


Anon cunt wrote:
"It is full of perverted lies. Churches feed the hungery and clothe the poor. They help people through the rough times of life by telling them about God's love and the wonderful truth of heaven."
And what do they insist upon in return mmmm? The utmost devotion to the lies, falsehoods and cons which they procliam. They then want their money, their souls...their whole fuckin' lives! They take everything from those who have nothing. They feed off the poor, the desparate, the infirm and the young. They are SCUM and EVIL shit-sucking dad wankers!

Anon cunt wrote:
"You really should be ashamed of these words you are using and the graphics that defile the love God has shown for us."

Oh FUck OOOOOF already will you! There is no "god" so how can "it" be defiled? Moreover how can something that is not there forgive?

Anon cunt wrote:
"God will always forgive, just ask."

How DARE you ask ME to do something so fucking SELFISH!

If this "god" chap actually WAS there and LISTENED to prayers and ACTED upon them, then why would only ask me to do this puny little thing to save my own soul????

If "god" is really there, and "he" has all these powers WHY do you not impel people to make this all-powerful CUNT stop allowing things like tsunamis, floods, tornados, lightning storms, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and all manner of natural disasters that kill many mnay mnay innocent poeple all the fucking time???!!!

If "he" is real and has all these powers do YOU ask "him" for these things since you apparently have some kinda hot-line batphone to the cunt himself???
If you DO, then WHY do they still happen???...mmmmmm could it possibly be that there IS NO FUCKING POINT IN TALKING TO SOMETHING THAT ISN'T FUCKING THERE YOU FUCKING CHRIST-PUNCHING MORONIC CUNT!!!!


Aaaaaaahhhhh.......Muuuuch better.

Unless you have any evidence of this "god" character you keep babbling about, do kindly fuck off.

Anonymous said...

Go to hell Choobis!

Jesus loves you.

anonyskank said...

This is wrong Choobis. Everyone knows Christians are made of crazy sickness ... mmmm, with a dash of oregano.

Choobus said...

I thought Christians were made from incest. Perfect genesor not, I aint banging my sister and that's final.

In fact, she's not even allowed to watch me wank off to internet porn. Not any more.

smellyoldgit said...

I live next door to a bible scholar. Can I have your permission to re-print and publish this missive en masse at his next barbie ?
Of course I'll have to edit some of the profanities - there just arn't enough !!

HomoCyclist said...

"What does it take to turn an ordinary human being into a Christian?"

Fear and guilt.

Your post rocks Choobus!

Cap'n Awesome said...

Wow, I love that real Christians are starting to read Chooblog. May it spread throughout the lands of a center of wisdom, rejoicing, and wanking it.

emr said...

Judge wrote:

"Internet Office: office@net.va
Pope's Personal e-mail: benedictxvi@vatican.va"

The Pope has an e-mail address??? There's no way he can possibly read it all. Checking the Pope's e-mail would be a full-time job.

Eva said...

wow, choobs! you got your own goatzukis here! so-weet!

Choobus said...

Eva, they come for the blasphemy, they stay for the babes....

The Judge said...

Indeed the pope does have a personal e-mail and it probably wold be a full time job reading it all (I wonder how much viagra and porn spam he gets?...mmmmm)
Hopwever, I'd like to think that a proper subject title such as "Chooblog Rocks!" or "Catholics are Shitlords!" would stand out amongst the dross of religidiots mails, winging and whining or saying how great jeebus is and that we all love his naziness the pope blah blah blah...

There's probably a better chance of him reading it if it was different to all the others.

Fuck it I'm gonna e-mail him right now. I probably won't get a response, but if I do, I'll let you all know...

The Judge said...

Ok just e-mailed the pope.
Here's what I sent. N.B. I had to suck some serious pope-ly arse (tastes like chicken) to sneak under the radar. I await his response with baited breath! Let you know if I hear anything...

Pope e-mial:
Subject Title: Chobblog Rocks

Your Holiness,

Having discovered that the Vatican is cyber literate and has e-mail, I felt moved to write to you partly to express my admiration and thanks to you for all you have done since the sad passing of John Paul II and also to invite you to partake of some of the most erudite spiritual wisdom ever to grace cyberspace.

I provide you with a link to Chooblog: http://choobus.blogspot.com/
which is a repository of spiritual knowledge and musings from one of the truly great spiritual minds of this century. His insights are deep and his message clear. I thought that being the most important religious leader on the planet you may benefit from the incredible wisdom contained herein.

I realise that I may not receive a reply, but I am hoping that this e-mail will stand out and grab you attention and therefore await a response with eager anticipation.

I leave you now with warmest regards and best wishes for the future.

Peace be with you.

*Name deleted - insert Judge*

Choobus said...

good one judge. I hope they don't try to convert me, the hard way.

emr said...

Ha! If they ever see this site, they'll try to baptize you just to excommunicate you!

There Is said...

Let's hope this doesn't bring on the cyber-inquisition. I have to admit, the Chooblog is about as good a PR scheme for Atheism as Ann Coulter is for Republicanism. People on the for side see it as pleasant musings; people on the against side can't help but feel like they need to chuckle vomit.

Choobus said...

There is, that's total shit. Atheists are individual people. They only have on thting in common. Republicans all share a similar point of view. atheists all lack one single belief. The chooblog no more represents atheists in general than it does underground lizard shaeshifters or DD nymphomaniacs

There_Is said...

I agree Choobus, but when you start stating in your rants that all Christians are a certain way, while all others are a certain other way, well, it's about the same as a Republican pundit going off on all liberals are a certain way, etc. I know all Atheists aren't the same, and that their only commonality resides in the lack of belief in gods. Yet nothing keeps any Christian from making up any new Christian sect separating it from all the others, so even they are not all the same.

Face it man, if you want to acknowledge true individuality, you have to account for every single potential nuance of difference, so any generalizations end up coming short of reality.

What of Atheist Christians who believe in a real Jesus, and follow Jesus beliefs, yet lack a belief in God or miracles? Yeah, it's still all bunk, but belief based religion nonetheless. The same goes for Atheist Jews, or Atheist Moslems, if there are any.

I know this comment only attempts to neutralize a position, but making rants consistent helps to keep a message more solid. I do, however, think your previous response to this one helps to consider the idea of individuality.

Anonymous said...

I see you got the homos on your side. God will have mercy, just ask.

Choobus said...

There is,

don't forget, the nature of ranting is such that making total sense is not entirely necessary. There are untold blogs and forums where one can engage in serious discussions of religiosity. This is certainly not one of them. I don't reall care what anyone thinks about the chooblog. It is 100% disposable. When I say fuck all Christians I mean fuck ALL christians, but not fuck that christian, or that one.

All christians, and muslims and any other religiots do share one single defining feature which is an unfounded belief in bullshit. I have no problem mocking this. It is simply wrong to say that generalizations are never useful. Obviously a generalization is only useful; in a general way. Just like statistical analysis is only useful when applied to a sufficiently large system (for example, if thye central limit theorem is satisfied) and is completely useless when describing a single event. So statistically all christians are assholes, although Steve G is alright.

Atheist Christians? What about them? They are not the people I refer to as Christians because they don't think this man jeebus was the son of god. Ther are no different from people who follow motivational speakers or those who like the teachings of Noam Chomsky. It is the irrational belief in god, sans evidence (obviously)that characterizes the religiot.

Anonymous, I'm glad to have the homos on my side. I'd rather have ten homos backing me up all the way than a million godidiots making me want to puke. Or one godidiot. Fuck all you godidiots.

Anonymous said...

As God and nature attest to, homosexuals are an abonination to earth and ALL it stands for.

Tell me why my statement is false.

The Judge said...

Because you are basing your unjustifiable hatred on the buybull - a work of fiction.

Homosexuality occurs in the animal kingdom too are these creatures to be damned to "hell" also? Where they not "created" by your invisible sky asshole? It's nota fucking choice, cunt.

There is increasing EVIDENCE of the genetic propensity to homosexuality - the latest theory of which is that it is essentially a developmental stage that ALL people go through to some degree or other.

Fuck you and your shit-sucking hatred you fucking dad-wanker. Grow up, stop wanking your dad, get a life, stop sucking shit, read a fucking science book and open your fucking eyes you
cheese-encrusted, stale cunt rag.

HomoCyclist said...

You are a fucktard and you represent what hate stands for.

Your fucking idiot asshole god IS THE REAL ABOMINATION to the universe you wanker.

Fuck you and fuck your god. You are pathetic and probably a real faggot, since you hate homosexuals so much, it's probably because your god rapes you all day all night and now you think that all homosexuals are like your god. Don't worry, come out of the fucking evil closet where you are. Out here, there is no fucking faggot god, you idiot.

There_Is said...

Hey, at least now it's clarified. But then, what is bigotry, and is it necessarily wrong?

Kamikaze said...

"As God and nature attest to, homosexuals are an abonination to earth and ALL it stands for."

I understand that an imaginary being has a problem with homos. Why should anyone care what your imaginary friend thinks? It's only what his creators attested to.

Consider the fact that all you're doing is listening to some old dead guys disguising their beliefs amid their imaginary friend.

Also, please explain how nature has a problem with homos. Is it simply because they can't reproduce?

You could cut your balls off, but nature wouldn't have a problem... even though you'd be removed from the gene pool.

Please, enlighten us to your logic.

If you used some.

HomoCyclist said...

anonymous is a homophobic homosexual. I've seen tons of cases likes his. He hates himself because he hasn't accepted the fact that he is a homo himself, and he thinks his fairy tale rapist god is not going to like him anymore if he comes out of the closet.

Anonymous said...

People always scream the loudest when they know they are wrong. And being Gay is wrong, even nature declares it is wrong.

God was right to declare it an abomination. It is also disgustion.

Tell the truth defenders of it who are not gay, you feel disgusted by it don't you?

HomoCyclist said...

No, you are wrong and fucking disgusting homophobic homo.

There is no fucking rapist god in the real world, only up your filthy fat ass.

Vomiting is the only thing I feel when I read your post you motherfucker.

Choobus said...

Fucktard wrote

" As God and nature attest to, homosexuals are an abonination to earth and ALL it stands for.

Tell me why my statement is false."

OK. {As God and nature attest....}

There is no god, and nature is silent on the matter.

do ya geddit moron?

Anonymous said...

Don't you see how the gaytard rambeles shamelessly. It is filthy to be gay.

Show me what happens to gays in nature.

God is real, ask for forgiveness and turn from this sin.

HomoCyclist said...

Shut up you troll. Eat shit.

Choobus said...

Anonymous, you are too gutless even to use a false name so we can tell the difference between you and all the other turds floating around the net.

You frequently say thingsa like "god hates..." A god capable of hate is a pathetic god, especially when he hates that which he himself is supposed to have created. That's worse than pathetic, that's fucking retarded, as indeed are you and all your other brainwashed shitsucking little friends. Also, there isa a lot of historical evidence that PROVES that Jesus had homosexual relations with Matthew and Luke. How do you explain that fool?

Anonymous said...

"God Hates" is the only way to explain in human terms what God feels for this act of nastiness!

You will no me by honesty. Too many believers are afraid to speak up for God. My words will be my name!

Anonymous said...

Are you Gay, choobus, because you know it is wrong and disgusting.

Choobus said...

I no you by U R honesty? Know thanks assmonky. You lie as readily as Jesus swallows the semen from Luke's hairy ballsack.

Anonymous said...

I am called TRUTH

Choobus said...

If you want to know if I am gayt you'll have to buy me a drink first big boy.

HomoCyclist said...

Jeez, too bad this asshole is not a real christian, he's just a troll.

I think I could pass for being a christian better than you, you pedophile motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

Trying to act like a christian is a lie to God and He knows you!

Repent of this nastiness. Being Gay is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Repent!

HomoCyclist said...

anonymous, before asking who is gay or not, you should come out of the closet first, you cunt.

Anonymous said...

Stay out of Hell. Repent

HomoCyclist said...

Why don't you post at least a username and a picture of your fat ungly face before I decide to talk to you and repent?

Anonymous said...

I am how God made me! You are not!

HomoCyclist said...

Answer the fucking question...

Why don't you post at least a username and a picture of your fat ungly face before I decide to talk to you and repent?

Anonymous said...

Because it has not been given to me as the will of God to do so, in due time it may happen.

HomoCyclist said...

How did he make you?

Anonymous said...

The original me was made by my mother and father (not gay, of course).

The me now was made by God. The spiritual me.

HomoCyclist said...

You don't want to show us your ugly and disgusting face because your god made fucking ugly man.

You are embarrass of yourself!


HomoCyclist said...

anonymous said:
The original me was made by my mother and father (not gay, of course).

The me now was made by God. The spiritual me.

Oh, your mom and dad are in the zoo?

HomoCyclist said...

Fuck you asshole.

I have better things to do than talking shit with you.

Choobus said...

anonymous prick, calling you a sad loser is like saying hydrogen sulphide is lightly stinky.

go read your bible and see if you can find the bit where Jesus says anything at all about homosexuality. You won't find it because Jesus was himself fond of the bumsex. If you are a true christian you probably jam your thumb up your arsehole while jerking off to the poster of David Hasselhoff on your bedroom wall. I bet you were hard for days after you heard Lance bass was gay.

Anonymous said...

God has instructed me to speak to you in the morning. Think on what the truth is overnight and I will answer your questions about God at that time.

Remember you can come to God at any time.

Anonymous said...

My name is Truth and you will know me by it.

HomoCyclist said...

Did your god instructed you to talk to me before, during of after he rape you up in your ass all night?

HomoCyclist said...

Oh yes, you said he instructed you in the morning, so you both were pretty satisfied huh?

Was it good?

Did you shit a lot?

4thgeneration said...

Anonymous Asshat said, "God was right to declare it an abomination. It is also disgustion."

Disgustion, is it? Are we making up our own language now, Asshat?
Great! What shall we call it? Truth? Nope, lets call it IGNORANCE.


4thgeneration said...

Anonymous Asshat,
Homocyclist is a kind and beautiful human being. You are the disgusting one.

emr said...

Jesus H. Christ. I don't check the Chooblog for one day, and the shit hits the fan. Why does all the interesting stuff happen when I'm gone?

Choobus said...

I can't believe all you mother fucking cunts ruining the purity of the chooblog with your fucking foul fucking language, for fucks sake. What is wrong with you peoples?

Kamikaze said...

Anonymous, you said that god has told you to speak with us, so how do you talk to god? Is there a voice in your head telling you what to do? Or are you merely making shit up as you go? Perhaps a little of both?

Whichever, it's ok. That's just how religion works.

About how "disgustion" gay people are is not my concern. It's not anybody else's business what two (or more :o ) consenting adults do as long as it's not in public.

a different tim said...

anonymous said
"And being Gay is wrong, even nature declares it is wrong."

Not true.

Nature, it appears, is very Gay. In fact mother nature seems to spend much of her time getting up to hot lesbo action for Choobus to wank over.

Anonymous said...

So, after sleeping witht the TRUTH as your pillow have you decided to stop the homosexual activities.

Let us learn today what God thinks of this nasty behavior-

Lev 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

But there is hope, for God does not hate you for this, only the sin-

Psa 147:5 Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.
Psa 147:6 The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
Psa 147:7 Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
Psa 147:8 Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
Psa 147:9 He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.
Psa 147:10 He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
Psa 147:11 The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
Psa 147:12 Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise thy God, O Zion.

Repent and come to God, He will always except you when you turn to Him and His ways.

Professor Chaos said...

youneedmercy, aka anonymous troll wrote: "Repent and come to God, He will always except you when you turn to Him and His ways. "

Why would I come to God if he will just "except" me? I would be left out, you illiterate fuck.

HomoCyclist said...

Hey cunt-anonymous,

Superman talked to me this morning and told me to tell you:


emr said...

@ Anonymous:

The Leviticus verse is a deceptive mistranslation. In the original Hebrew, "to'ebah" means something more along the lines of "ritually unclean". Have you ever shaved? Gotten a haircut? Worn a cotton-polyester blend? Eaten non-kosher foods? Well if you have, then you too have committed an "abomination". Why would you take Leviticus 18:22 seriously today, but not the rest of the book? Too inconvenient?

That passage from 1 Corinthians never even mentions homosexuality explicitly. Not all homosexuals are effeminite, and not all effeminite men are homosexual, you bigot.

Anonymous said...

emr are you a homosexual. That is disgusting.

I am truth, repent of the homosexualness before it is too late.

When you are homosexual you are not even considered a human. You are lower than a dog.

Cav said...

Anonymous are you missing some chromosomes?

Do me a favor. Ask your sister if she's ever taken it up the ass. Odds are she has, but if she hasn't then you can give her my number. I'll introduce her to some really fun times...

emr said...


Come on, joke's over. Who's really making these anonymous posts? I just can't believe that anyone would be ignorant enought to say:

"When you are homosexual you are not even considered a human. You are lower than a dog."

and really mean it. Then again, my faith in humanity has been misplaced before.

Professor Chaos said...

I'm with you, emr. I don't believe for a second that this is a real fundie.

jesusgurl6969 said...

lol here r sum jesus facts i found in t3h bible:

1. Jesus is a mammal.
2. Jesus saves ALL the time.
3. The purpose of Jesus is to flip out and smite the wicked.

do u believe NOW choobis?!?

Anonymous said...

You nasty dirty people are trying to distract from the truth of God's message by saying I am a fake.

Why is it that you think a believer in the bible as the absolute word of God is a fake? I know why and I keep saying it to "believers", They need to stand for God not man.

Repent and be saved.

emr said...

Okay, I'll assume you're real.

Again, if you "stand with God" as you claim, why do you harp on Leviticus's prohibition of homosexuality (which itself is debatable) while ignoring much of the other commands in that book?

Facehammer said...

Hey, anonymous coward. A while ago, I heard about all this Leviticus stuff. So I grabbed one of the bibles I hadn't drubbed up enough diarrhoea to have found a use for yet, and turned to Leviticus. I found that bit about gays and whacked off onto it while thinking about Arnold Schwarzeneggar, specifially those bits in Commando where he's half-naked and sweaty and flexing. That was pretty good, but that bible didn't burn so well because the pages were all stuck together so the air couldn't get into the middle.

I had a word with Satan the other night. He said that he didn't really care either way whether anyone was gay. He also told me that the bible was designed by god in order to inflict a maximum of suffering, division, insanity, hate, pain and all the ills of the world, because god was a "total cunt" (his words, not mine). He told me that it also had subliminal hypnotic messages that caused christians' senses of humour to drift free of their souls, so that god could feast on the funny. What a cunt.

Hey, if this is what I get when I'm saved (and I had no reason not to believe Satan, as he brought all this empirical evidence with him and simply left me free to draw my own conclusions. What a nice chap) then you can take your repentance and force it up your voluminous, dilated arse.

The Judge said...

I am truth. You will know me by my words.
"god" is not real. The whole thing is fake and all believers are duped idiots.

Learn to read a science book and ye shall be saved.
This is the only way.


Anonymous said...

I only talk about what God shows me.

Anonymous said...

Science is the REAL lie that is fooling you at this moment. Science can not create something from engery only, but that is what God did. His Word (energy) created matter.

Why not? You believe all this black hole stuff, but have you ever seen one up close?

The Judge said...

You believe all this "god" bullshit - ever seen "him" close up?

We have PROOF of black holes you backwards dolt.

There is NO proof of your invisible, sky bastard. It simply doesn't exist.

Grow up will you.

Facehammer said...

Science cannot create anything from energy? Then how the fuck does Choobus get hold of the antimatter he works with every day? He sure as hell doesn't follow the advice of some grizzled old varmint who says "thar be antimatter in them thar hills" and start digging for it. Dumbass.

Brad89 said...

Anon fucker, you seriously need some fucking counseling. Who cusses so vehemently about homosexuality because ancient tribesmen talked with bushes and donkeys?

anya said...

What if there really is a god? And what if that god really is the biggest fucking prick in the universe, and everything we know from empirical observation has been set up just so god can get his jollies by fucking the rational people over?

Would you kiss his ass like he seems to want everyone to, just to avoid the hellfire and brimstone deal?

After all, we ultimately do not know, and cannot prove, whether human perception is accurate.

The Judge said...

What if there realy is a ghost in your doorway right now? I defy you to prove to me that there is not.

Can't do it can you.

See, you cannot prove a negative therefore the onus of proof is on those making outrageous claims i.e. theists.

It makes more sense not to believe in any kind of a "god" because there is no fucking proof of one.

anya said...

But isn't that putting unfounded faith in the accuracy of your human perceptual processes? Couldn't there be a deity that was a total prick and intentionally hid itself from human perception? It's a hypothetical question of course, but to be so sure that human perception is all there is to reality is kind of unskeptical, isn't it? Isn't that why science never assumes proof?

the judge said...

anya said...
"...to be so sure that human perception is all there is to reality is kind of unskeptical, isn't it?"
What else is there after human perception to say what is real?

"Couldn't there be a deity that was a total prick and intentionally hid itself from human perception?"
You're talking maltheism here, which is a better explanatory model of theism, but still only as logical as believing in the invisible pink unicorn due to the same level of proof i.e. none.

anya said...

"What else is there after human perception to say what is real?"

Science says there may be more to human perception than what we think there is, for one. And besides that, haven't you seen the Matrix???

"You're talking maltheism here, which is a better explanatory model of theism, but still only as logical as believing in the invisible pink unicorn due to the same level of proof i.e. none."
Still, no evidence doesn't preclude proof, either. Which is why agnosticism (the smart kind, not the wimpy kind) is more logical than atheism.
I take it you're not at all concerned about the possibility of maltheism, then?

The Judge said...

anya said...
“Science says there may be more to human perception than what we think there is, for one. And besides that, haven't you seen the Matrix???”

Well you got me there with your academic reference to that ‘forceful’ affirmation of solipsism “The Matrix.”
For fucks sake. The Matrix was a film – it was not real and even if it were possible to one day shove a big metal needle probe into a persons brain stem to plunge them into some kind of a virtual reality that was phenomenologically indistinguishable from “reality” then it would be soooooooo far into the future it’s not even worth contemplating in your lifetime.

Any measurements and quantifying of evidence ultimately relies on human perception – even if it’s just reading a ruler to measure a line. Where does “god” fit into all this? Well simply it doesn’t – there is no evidence of “god” outside of the frankly delusional perceptions of those afflicted with this flavour of psychosis.

anya said…
“Still, no evidence doesn't preclude proof, either. Which is why agnosticism (the smart kind, not the wimpy kind) is more logical than atheism.
I take it you're not at all concerned about the possibility of Maltheism, then?”
Now this makes a little more sense though the distinction between agnosticism and atheism is moot since we’re all atheists with regard to e.g. Neptune, Poseidon, Thor, Zeus, Isis, Amun-Re etc.
As Dawkins said in his summation of Russsel’s orbiting teapot / ”god” analogy,
“Maybe we have to be technically and strictly agnostic, but in practice we are all [teapot] atheists.”

Maltheism: Due to the “problem of evil,” there can be no all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing “god” as per any religious text in existence.
Maltheism would therefore explain why so much shit happens in the world, but then so would the explanation of there being nothing guiding anything in the first place and since I see no evidence of any gods at all, I am forced logically to conclude that atheism is still the only valid interpretation.

Anonymous said...

Wot a load of 'b8ll8cks' that is said by these sad-sacks. Yeah, note verything is right in the World, and screwed-up fanatics use religion for their own evil ends. Then people who 'beleive in nothing' are also screw-up in their own way........ People wo 'whorship at the altar of Retail Therapy'... (shopping for thos who dont habla!!)
Oops I msut not sy naughty things about people of a lowe intelligence...ha ha ... dont I ramble a lot.... ho ho ho Santa clause is comeing to take me away to 'Happy Ever After Land'.... Mr Bush's 'White House'..... 2OchAwa and Bile yer eids"....

Obi-Won Kenobi, Failed Jedi Knight and Eater of Chesse.

Choobus said...


anya said...

Choobus, I want to have your babies.