A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Arseholes Anonymous

Alcoholics anonymous: cult or crock?

The simple answer is that it’s both a crock of shit and a cult. The friends of Bill are usually hopeless losers: exactly the type of people who need the booze. Imagine how awful it would be to wake up every day and have to remember what a worthless fuck you are. This is why booze is so great, and that’s why these pikey fuckers should be gulping it down, just like the good old days. But they do not. “AA saves lives” some whining Christ puncher will probably say. Does it fuck. It’s just a cult, and it uses standard cult tactics to make sure that some ex-drunks can experience some power by lording it over some other alcoholics. The guy who cleans portable toilets may seem like a disgusting shit scrubber to you, but if he’s been on the wankers wagon for 10 years he is like a god to the other acolytes at the AA meeting. They hold alcohol over you like the pint of Damocles, threatening you with absurd stories about things they used to do before they bent over and allowed a “higher power” to fuck them in the arse and drop a mammoth load of self righteousness. And, like all good cults, they have a special book of bollocks: the big book of bullshit. And let’s not forget the 12 steps: a fine tool of indoctrination, with a proven success when it comes to indoctrinating tools.

Perhaps the biggest lie told by arseholes anonymous is that it is not a religious group. Where do they hold most of their fucking meetings? IN FUCKING CHURCHES THAT’S WHERE. What is this higher power if it isn’t god? Is it the stockmarket? Even if your brain is soaked in gin this ploy is pretty easy to see through. Pretending that there is no religion in AA is like saying you only read penthouse for the articles, and saying it while simultaneously masturbating furiously. If you happen to be one of these people who will actually die if you don’t stop drinking then you should do some time in prison. If you actually want to continue living (and lets face it, for these losers that’s not always the best option) why the fuck would you let a group of self confessed losers be responsible for your life? It’s fucking retarded. That’s like asking Michael Jackson to baby-sit.

“But it works” the same whining prick will probably say. Does it? Maybe if you are willing to become a jeebus zombie and start acting like a cunt, you can give up the booze for a few years. It’s not fucking worth it. I’d rather drink myself into the grave than hang out with such pathetic pikey bastards. A sober drunk is the worst of both worlds. They are as boring as the bible and just as self righteous, and (for some reason) generally ugly mother fuckers as well. No thanks man. If you really can’t drink anymore, there’s always weed, or crack. Anything is better than turning into a friend of Bill. You try and find a more pathetic specimen than a chain smoking haggard ex alcoholic who likes nothing more than getting a late night phone call from someone he is “sponsoring” so he can feel like the big man and offer useless platitudes. Compared to them, broke down crack whores are like elegant debutantes.

If you read this and you believe you have a problem with alcohol, here is my advice to you: Stop being such a pussy. That’s the real problem, too many pussies.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

The whole "But it works." thing is bullshit anyway. No one knows how well it works because there are no official statistics on the subject, and no one can do a proper study because everything is "anonymous."

The best anyone has been able to tell, AA works about as well as just saying "Hey, I'm not going to drink anymore," and actually not drinking anymore.

What I think makes these shitbags suck shit even more, is their admant rejection of using drugs to combat alcholism, the only truly PROVEN method. Not on any real SCIENCE, mind you, just because THEY don't happen to like it.

Maybe that's because it's not easy to convert people if they have something that actually WORKS at their disposal.

Noah Nywno

Appalled Atheist said...

What was wrong with the original European Cumbath and European Cumbath 3?

anotherTim said...

I had a little court ordered foray into the wonderful world of AA. I did 90 meetings in 90 days. I had a great time. There are some fucked up people that got some serious issues. It was like Jerry Springer but smellier.
You can only stand hearing the fucking platitudes they whip out for so long. If I never her someone say "but for the grace of god" again it will be too soon.
They are fucking pussies who need to lean on all of the other fucking pussies. Fuck them all.

HomoCyclist said...

That is true. There are too many pussies already in this world. They turn into these cults for "help" and then they become self-righteous pricks. I've known of many people who just quit drinking without the need to go to AA or being "reborn" or converted into retarded Christianity. Men and Women who keep away from these cults have balls, inside or out, but they have them.

4thgeneration said...

I'm with anonymous on this one. Google "Vivitrol" if you want to stop drinking EFFECTIVELY. And I mean stop drinking alcohol without having to drink jesus spooge as well.

Choobus said...

appallad atheistt, I hjust didn't think the storyline in european cumbath 3 was believable. And the production values of european cumbath were shocking. The stunt dick had a mole on his wang fer chrissakes.

Noah Nywno said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25drin.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin


'nuff said.

Noah Nywno said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dionysuscried said...

IF AA has been successful in some individual cases in the past, it's only because they replaced one dependancy with another. They may get rid of the booze, but they will swear up and down that AA is the only thing holding them together. When is the alcoholic cured? Never, according to AA. They will have to attend (and give generously) for the rest of their days. If you want to help these people, give them some self-empowerment, not half-assed platitudes.

Anonymous said...

Dont you think that you might be 'fucked Up' as well. The hall mark of ignorance is rejection of any system before testing it!!

Some of the comments by some of you sad-sacks indicates that youve 'fucked and fried your brains' on other stuff. Maybe you 'smoke other shite'??/

Anonymous said...

Whot a load of 'Saddoes'.... why the vitriolic poisonous comments about AA or any other organisation that tries to help people who have hit the skids. Dont mock the afflicted, you might be on 'skid-row' one day with all the other 'loosers' as has been said. And what if 'AA' is a 'Cult' as some of you brain-feks' think. The reason why these meeting usually, but not always meet in Church Halls, is because the rent is cheap!!! Whats better...laying on the sidewalk barfing your guts up?? In Goal in the Sherrifs 'Drunk Tank'?? Or being worked on in a Hosptial ER facility after another drunken Bum fight on the streets???..... I know aht I would choose.... If it is 'brain washing' then I would rather be 'booze & drug free' sober and reasonably happy than living on skid-row with all the other bums in town?? Get Real and get a Life you 'Brain Feks'...smell the coffee of Life....
----------------------------------
Captain Jean Luc Pickard's Little Helper'--- Failed Jedi Knight and Eater of Cheese.
Confusuius, he say...."Man with Alcoholic constipation...never pass Bar"!!

Anonymous said...

Hom! Hum! ..wot shall I say... al youse piple what dont know nuffink!! The fact that it works if your want it to, so if it works, why question it?? If it aint bust, then dont 'fix it'.....

glassjailer said...

AA is a total load of shit. Thanks for bringing this topic up because I've had a major problem with AA since my cousin used to drag me to meetings with him. He is a dry drunk, the worst kind of drunk. It is comparable to a religious fucker being all high and mighty about being abstinent; total hypocrisy.

So after about 8 meetings, I began to really see a pattern. (I knew it was trash the first time I went but hell...I'm open-minded. Why not look into the shit they are spewing, I thought.) This isn't just a cultish kind of group. It's straight up religion with guilt complexes, coercion, and brain-washing. The desperate folks who "hit bottom" turn to the only people who claim to want to help them, friends of Bill. There aren't many other alternatives when you are that much of a nonfunctional drunkard. Which is too bad.

What pisses me off further is that people are being ordered by courts to attend AA. Yes, this does indeed happen. And frequently. I can't stand that people are being forced to attend some crack-pot, quasi religious, propagandistic 12 step bullshit meetings. What the fuck? How can this be right? I can't be forced to attend church, and AA is just like church for drunks. Arghh. Makes no fucking sense.

Learn to control your drinking, or have the state force you to attend pseudo religious brain washing meetings comprised of other drunks. Lovely plan. A plus to the fucker who came up with that brilliant plan.

Oh. And something interesting I noticed at these "sessions". I am not an alcoholic but on occasion I drink too much. Sure. I think many people drink too much, but are not alcoholics. I don't think about alcohol obsessively. I don't normally crave alcohol. But shit! Sitting in a room in some church (!!!) talking endlessly about drinking and wanting to have a drink...did what!?? Made me fucking want to drink more! I left those fucking meetings desperate for a beer. I would have drunk the drain mats from underneath the taps, I was so desiring of a drink. Hmm. I wonder. Does that mean that you have to be a real alcoholic to have AA work on you?

Anonymous said...

The A.A. meetings are different varying from different demographics. I had to go to A.A. meetings for a year based on a court order.

Basically, from what I got from most (not all) A.A. meetings are people who are very self righteous and think they have an answer to everybody's problem.

There were a few AA meetings that actually inspired me because they talk about positve solutions in their daily life rather than focusing on the negative and
condescending talk that most A.A. meetings have.

I have an open mind, and I have read the big blue book as well as many other self help/growth inspiring books, I'm sure the founders were onto a real solution for those who cannot control their drinking...but over time for the organization, self rightouesness kicks in with the many follwers of the A.A. way. The compassion attraction is simply not there.

And that is the key, A.A. claims they rather grow from attraction rather than promotion, and to me A.A. meetings do the opposite of the universal LAWS OF ATTRACTION, they actually repulse you. They focus on toooo much of the problem rather than much of the needed solution...and to top it off do with a self reighteous attitude!

Think about it the name alone alcoholic is a negative word and by calling yourself alcohlic all the time will indeed turn you into one even though you may have not had a serious problem with alcohol. You are who you hang around with and the thoughts you think will manifest your being into that!!...Closing statement have you heard the term soberhoilc?

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