A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Praise be to Allah

Muslims can praise allah every time they drop a load with my new Jizzlam Shit Rag (copyright pending).

I thought about including verses from the koran, but then I remembered how much muslims love cartoons, so I opted instead for a cheeky raghead character. Just imagine all the hilarious arse adventures he with have! This amazing new product will make worship as enjoyable as dropping the kids off at the pool. Don't take my word for it though, just look at these 100% genuine testimonials, that I did not make up.

Wow! Shitting and praising Allah has never been so convenient
greatmuslim 10

I just had a new rotatable toilet installed in my jet so I could shit facing mecca, and this is the only tp I will ever use.
Al mahmoud Jalfrezi

Holy Shit! My asshole has never been closer to god.
Ali Baba

If dumping my ass candy directly onto Allah's greatness is wrong, I don't wanna be right
Mohammed bin Raider


Anonymous said...

good move choobus. now the militant islamic contingent will be on your case, and your filth will come to an end.

There Is said...

So, this is the Koran I hear everyone's flushing down the toilet nowadays. I had no idea it was a picture book; the picture of the prophet Jizzlammed isn't as impressive as everyone makes him out to be.

I've gotta tell you, looking at these pictures of shit is making me kind of queezy. I'm beginning to feel like I'm at church.

greatmuslim10 said...

Wow! Shitting and praising Allah has never been so convenient!

The Judge said...

Sounds like anonymous is a true christian - s/he can't wait for a fellow human being to die a horrible death so s/he can smile down smuggly at their burning souls from their mightily-high pedestal at the right hand of their "god."

That's christian charity for you. What ever the fuck happened to turning the other cheek or helping out someone in need?

Fucking christers!

Anonymous said...

God turns people over to their own evils so that God may be glorified by their change when they turn and give all praise to God.

Does anyone have evidence that the RA conversion was not for the glory of God changing the hearts of the strong atheist?

HomoCyclist said...

Holy Shit! My asshole has never been closer to god.
Ali Baba

lol, it takes a lot to learn how to get it closer to Ali Baba. You got it, praise Choobus!

Anonymous said...

God must have a plan, otherwise He would never let you talk of Him in this way.

You should really repent of these things.

The Judge said...

Pathetic Christer wrote:
"God turns people over to their own evils so that God may be glorified by their change when they turn and give all praise to God."

So he gets his kicks out of seeing his creations suffer??? Sounds like a sadistic cunt to me.

Stooooopid fucking christer wrote:
"Does anyone have evidence that the RA conversion was not for the glory of God changing the hearts of the strong atheist?"

Yes - the evidence is that despite his mental break down, he has not "converted" anyone. This proves only one thing: that TRA is going mad and there is no "god."

Do YOU have any evidence for your "god?" Like a tangible, physical manifestation that you can see, hear, touch, smell, taste or otherwise measure in some way?...
Didin't think so. Howzabout you fuck off until you do then.

It's my job to work with the mentlaly ill - I'd really like a break from it when I get home and talk to sane people...please.

The Judge said...

I wonder if this anonymous freak is not The Raving Atheist himself?

We know he knows about Chooblog as it is listed under the "hate sites" on his blog and he keeps going on about the RA forum and RA's "conversion."

Any thoughts?...

Anonymous said...

So much anger, it is not good for you. The evidence I have requires you to accept there is a God and then you will have all the proof you need.

Peace will fill your soul.

The Judge said...

I only get angry when thick shit cunts splurge their bollocks about their delusions in my face when I'm trying to get on with life.
If you're REALLY concerned about my health you'd fuck off.

First you must prove to me that there is not a ghost in your doorway right now.
Once you can do what no one can and prove a negative, then I'll listen, but the down side is that the unierse might collapse in a puff of illogicality. But if that's what it takes...

Just for shits n giggles, what evidence do you have christain?

Anonymous said...

It is funny you say "in my face", I am sure you are confused.

The evidence is only something you can have. Search for God, but put aside your disbelief and let God come to you. He will and then you will have your evidence.

The Judge said...

Prove there's no ghost in your doorway right now and I'll consider it.

Anonymous said...

St Anselm’s Ontological Argument

(1) God is that than which no greater can be conceived.
(2) If God is that than which no greater can be conceived then there is nothing greater than God that can be imagined.
(3) There is nothing greater than God that can be imagined.
(4) If God does not exist then there is something greater than God that can be imagined.
(5) God exists.

And there may be a ghost in my doorway.

The Judge said...

Ok I'll bite.

If I were to buy into your theological claptrap about creation, then I think I'd prefer Gasking's take:

1) The creation of everything is the most marvelous achievement imaginable.
2) The merit of an achievement is the product of (a) its intrinsic quality, and (b) the ability of its creator.
3) The greater the disability of the creator, the more impressive the achievement.
4) The most formidable handicap for a creator would be non-existence.
5) Therefore if we suppose that everything is the product of an existent creator we can conceive a greater being — namely, one who created everything while not existing.
6) Therefore God does not exist.

But I don't because by you own definition "god" is merely a figment of man's imagination and the last point is simply a tautology pre-assuming the existence of a creator - not exactly a powerful argument really is it?

And I believe that there is NO ghost in your doorway - prove to me that there isn't (i.e. do the impossible by proving a negative) and I'll convert.

Choobus said...

Anselm! Jeezuz. That goes to show how the theist intellect eschews anything that isn't ancient and absurd.

This is the sort of mind that believes that the flintstones is a documentary.

by the way anonymous, there are several anonymous assholes., Give yourself some sort of name so we can tell which asshole is which. I suggest you take the advantage and call yourself asshole maximus.

Anonymous said...

The Word of God will set you free.

As someone who cared once told me, start with the New Testament and read the words of Jesus. If you don't hear God speaking to your heart then keep reading Just the words of Jesus. Get a red letter Bible if needs be.

You will see what I am saying.

reconcile_9 said...

Have you walked your mile today?

greatmuslim10 said...


No, the word of _Allah_ will set you free. Duh.

The Judge said...

Why skip all that gruesome narcissistic, sadistic, child and homosexual killing of the "god" of the old testament? Why would this same vengeful sky bastard suddenly be all nice?

Have you actaully read ANYTHING as to the patchwork nature of the myth of jeebus?
Thought not. What about the 16 or so christ-type figures that came from other civilisations before the one you've be indoctrinated to believe in? They all had ministries lasting about 30 years, were "born of a virgin" died on a cross and rose 3 days later, but I'll bet you've never heard of:

Chrishna (India) 1200 BC
Hindoo Sakia 600 BC
Thamus (Syria) 1160 BC
Wittoba of the Terigonese 552 BC
Iao (Napal) 622 BC
Hesus of the celtic druids 834 BC
Quexaicote (Mexico) 587 BC
Quirinus (Rome) 506 BC
Esequilus Prometheus 547 BC
Thulus (Egypt) 1700 BC

All the fuckin same.

Read some history, then take a pinch of common sense, stir in some logic, bake in LOTS of evidence, cut a slice or three with Occam's Razorand then digest this delicious dish called FACTS.

jesusgurl6969 said...

ya but the bible actually happened lol!!!1

have a nice day k God bless


Jesus Rules xoxoxoxo said...

ya but jesus loves all of us even if we dont luv him back so and choobus jesus luvs you too and i dont know why yur so mean two him wen he loves you you will see when he fills yur heart with joy and luv like he did with mine cauz i was an atiest two and he loves me now so i love him too and god.

The Judge said...

@jesus'-cock-felator-"gurl"-6969 wrote:
"ya but the bible actually happened lol!!!"

Where's your proof?

@Jesus Rules xoxoxoxo

THIS is the kind of childish shit we are up against! You can't even fucking type you fucking child. Jeebus never existed - he was a patchwork of mythic christ-figures amalgamated (you might need to lookthat one up you fucking thick christer) into a messianc figure in a religion that was beaten into people by sadistics cunts like Paul and the Romans.

Fucking christers

max muller said...

Chobus! I think you got a good product there. You could markdet that as Islamic pornography. Tehy could jack off looking at it and then squirt into it.

a good idea!!!

There Is said...

Praise be to Gizllah. May we all cum unto him, as he besquirtith unto himself. May his gloryhole be upon him.

And for shit's sake, open a window already! Hasn't the prophet ever heard of courtesy flushes?!?

reconcile_9 said...

Let us consider for a moment, Does anyone "REALLY" have the answer to this God question?

While no one can prove God exits, no one can prove He does not? Where does that leave someone like me who really wants the answer to that question?

Choobus said...

reconcile9, it's true that no one can prove that goed does or does not exist. From my perspective, anything for which there is no evidence of existance has a de facto non-existance and can be ignored. This is why retarded shitsucking goat-felching morons who waste their lives worshipping a god for which there is no evidence whatsoever always strike me as the most idiotic creatures ever to drool into their own chins. It's the intellectual equivalent of getting your fingers stuck in one of those chinese finger traps, and after spennding 1 minute trying ot get free, simply resigning yourself to life with your fingers stuck in it. And then after a year or two trying to persuade people with free fingers that they are fools.

jesus rules xoxoxoxo said...

judge way are you so mean two me i jsut want you're heart two be filled with the love i have from jesus adn i want everybody two feel that love all the time cause it makes you so happy but i wanst mean two you i jsut want evyrebody to feel the love of jesus

Choobus said...

jesus rules, you should travel the world and spread your message of love. May I suggest you kick off in Lebanon and then work your way to iraq.

The Judge said...

@jesus rules xoxoxoxo "wrote" (if he'd had crayons he might be more at home)
judge way are you so mean two me

Right there you see, right fuckin there - you cannot even fuckin spell! You type like you're a kindergarden slacker who bashes the keys so they get sticky with all the "yum yum foody me gets at breaky time."

Thick christer then scrawled:
i jsut want you're heart two be filled with the love i have from jesus adn i want everybody two feel that love all the time cause it makes you so happy but i wanst mean two you i jsut want evyrebody to feel the love of jesus

You don't even fucking know me cunt, so why do you want my heart to be filled with fake love from a fictional deity? The again, how could you know that I used to believe when I was a child (like you) but then I GREW UP!!!!!!

You have been "mean two me" you have tried to convert me to a way of lies and falsehoods. Grow up or fuck off - to maybe Lebanon (nods to Choobs) I here there's a LOOOOOOOOT of people who need help out there - go do something...anything, just fuck off.

jesusrulesxoxoxoxo said...

wow i jsut dont understand im not tryign to be mean im just trying two be nice adn you guys are so mean back to me you tell me two grow up but i am only eleven and am just trying two spread the love of jesus to athiests cause for sunday school they told us to sperad jesus word to unbeleivres i am sorry if you dont like it i was just trying to do my homework and i thought i was being nice

The Judge said...

Run little child, run far away from those monsters who are indoctrinating you.

What the hell are you doing on this blog aged only 11???

There's foul things here little child, things you cannot possibly understand. Please trust me when I say that your Sunday school is brainwashing you into believing only one thing. Think about it:
There are SO many religions out there. All of them claim to be true - just like you are being taught the christianity is true.

So which is it? Are they ALL true?
That's impossible, yet they all sound so similar - in fact christianity came from judaism, islam came from christianity, they share "prophets," the same "god" and the same "devil." They are all just stories - like the tooth fairy or santa claus.

There is SO much for you to learn, please do not stop learning about the world just because you are going to sunday school.

I did not expect you to be so young, so I guess I'm trying to apologise because I see a young fertile mind like yours being polluted by the poison of christianity.

I can point you in the direction of some real history and some amazing, wonderful things to do with science that will open you little mind up wide and feed it with such unbelievably wonderful facts, your mind will be dazzled - but it has NOTHING to do with god who is not real.

Here to help if you are brave enough ;o)

jesusrulesxoxoxoxoxo said...

no judge yu dont have to aplogbize two me i have two apologize two you cause...

I'm sorry, man, I've been laughing my fucking ass off all day about this. Childish? Yes, I know. But it's been alot of fun. This is MilitantAtheist from RA forums. Just seeing how people were thinking that "anonymous" was TRA, I thought I'd fuck around a little and pretend to be a retarded Christologist. I just came up with the eleven year old thing at the end, though. You were awesome, though, thanks!

emr said...

Haha, and I have to confess that I made the "jesusgurl6969" post. I figured the '6969' part would be a dead give-away, but I guess you never know these days. :)

The Judge said...

Fuckin atheists! ;o)

Seriously - nice burn guys. Had me fooled.

Relieved really - the odd theist is nice for breakfast, but too many and you start to feel sick.

max said...

Should one cook a theist with Red wine or White?

Are they considered as fish or red meat?

emr said...

Depends on the theist:

Christians are fish, for obvious reasons.

Jews and Muslims.....shy away from pork, which is white meat, so I'd say they're red meat.

Hindus, on the other hand, revere cows, so they're white meat.

Choobus said...

I wouldn't eat any theists. They are bound to be a bit gamey, and is Cal is right you might get the psychosis.....

(I believe it is known as mad cunt disease )