A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

If you are reading this then you are not me, which means you are quite probably a cunt of some sort, or possibly a shitsucking dad wanker. There is a small chance that this is not so, but I see no reason to deal with matters of vanishingly small probability. In any case, the important point to understand is that I am much better than you, and any opinions you may hold that conflict with mine are undoubtedly as wrong as wrong can be.

Anyway, the internets have served us well as the ultimate repository of porn, but finally they have another use. Not only am I unbelievably awesome, but I am also seriously fucking generous, and as such I have decided to share my great wisdom with you, even though you in no way deserve it. While extensive though, my generosity is not unlimited, so don’t be pestering me with your pathetic problems or suggesting any stupid subjects for me to comment on. I don’t want to hear any of it. Anything you can think of is almost guaranteed to be shit, and if it isn’t I have already thought of it. Having said that, I am always keen to hear from ladies, especially if they like to drink from the furry cup; and if you want to send me filthy disgusting pictures of a sexual nature then you go right ahead and get it out of your system. No mingers though. Seriously.

This Chooblog has been created to fill a void. Not a fishy void, but rather one of sarcastic amusement as used to be provided by the Raving Atheist, before he turned into a mealy mouthed christ punching fop. Perhaps there is some logical reason for the RA’s descent into abject wankosity, but if there is I don’t know what the buggery bollocks it is, and I don’t fucking care either. If by his actions shall ye know him then I know he’s been jesusified, and that isn’t right. I pity the fool who accepts a fictional dead Jewish cocksmoker as their personal lord and saviour. If you don’t know who the Raving Atheist is then fucking google the bastard, assclown.

So, this is merely an announcement. The Chooblog is here, and unless I lose interest in it (which is quite possible) it will remain. Yes, it may be horrid in parts, but that’s life. I sincerely hope that everyone who reads this hates it.

16 comments:

Kamikaze said...

The new raving atheist to replace the old boring one. (The one that might not even be an atheist.)

psyadam said...

make a rant about the ghosts of shitlords past

areku said...

Yay! Someone who we know is an actual raving atheist!

The Judge said...

Can you clear something up for us Choobus. What is the difference between a shit-sucking dad-wanker, a shitlord and a theist. Are they in actual fact distinct entities or are they one of the same - like the "triune god?"

Choobus said...

Judge, I'm glad you asked. A Shitlord is a special kind of theist: one wo is so full of shit that they breathe it, they live on it, they cannot exist without it. Theists range from ok to fucked up: from fools to shitlords. Shitsucking dad-wankers may or may not be theists, but they DO suck shit, and they wank of dads. I hope this clears things up.

The Judge said...

Indeed. Many thanks for sharing your infinte wisdom on this most perpelexing subject.

Appalled Atheist said...

Thank Horus, Choobus (PBUH) has created a blog! You need to edit your links so that we can all visit your favorite porn sites.

Tenspace said...

The second sign of the Apocolypse: Choobus writes a blog.

This will redefine awesome. Good work, Choob.

joshbowling said...

What a hero.

Unusual Suspect said...

Thanks, Choobus. I sometimes lurk on the message board over at TRA, and I have no doubt that you are a raving atheist. I look forward to many wonderful rants from you.

Anonymous said...

"I sincerely hope that everyone who reads this hates it"

I'm hating it already.

Lurker

HomoCyclist said...

Awesome Choobus!

Yeah!!!! My Lor...I mean, my Atheist mate Choobus has a real RANTING ATHEIST BLOG!

Hey, success is here already: TRA hates your blog...

I love it! Good work Choobus!

PS. We Atheists rock!
Theists...play violins..piffle!

4thgeneration said...

I look forward to more Choobits of wisdom.

Anonymous said...

Excellent choobus. It is good to remind the Christ-psychotics that the truth, and a visit to a neurologist, will set them free.....rock on for sanity!...

Calpurnpiso.

DrunkMonkey said...

Choobus has a blog! My life is complete.

Jahrta said...

Choobus, you rock. And on a weirder note, you greatly resemble my father when he was in his 20's. Like yourself, he was also involved with the sciences (chemistry and physics, by and large) and taught them for 34 years.

Anyway, keep up the good work. Continue to fill the void left by the pussy formerly known as the raving atheist (pfkatra).