A blog of infinite Choobism, and thence of incredible awesomeness.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Religiots

To debate or not to debate?

Imagine you’re walking down the street and a filthy hobo approaches you, a manky looking cap in his outstretched hand evidencing his intention. Being a decent sort you give the repulsive tramp some green, and he then starts confiding in you. He tells you a story involving alien abduction, anal probing and time travel. Would you stop and argue with this rancid denizen of the streets, or dismiss his tall tale out of hand? Would it be a judicious use of your time and effort to research his story in order to refute it? Unless you are some sort of retard, the answer to this is obviously no. Why then do we treat the hobo’s of intellectualism (that is, theists) with such respect? What is the point debating religiots when the entire basis of their position can be summed up as “I have faith”? The stinking bin raider also has faith, faith that his diseased arsehole was inspected by E.T in a spaceship, but his demented rambling is given short shrift by all but the mentally ill.

Some people with a lot of patience don’t mind amusing themselves by arguing with theists. Indeed, some Christ-punchers can be quite ingenious in their convoluted attempts to justify the unjustifiable. I can’t be arsed with such bollocks though. As far as I’m concerned there is no difference between arguing about God with religiots and explaining to a 19 year old why the tooth he put under his pillow was still there in the morning instead of cash. Fuck that shit. And it doesn’t much matter if it’s Jeebus lovers, followers of Jizzlam, branch Davidians or any flavour of god bothering spooge slurper. They are all full of the same shit and getting caught up in the details of their retarded religions is a complete waste of time. Not only that, it takes away precious time that could be better used watching porn. Discussing the details of Jesus’ life is as useful as trying to figure out whether or not Shaft really was so complicated that nobody understood him but his woman.

It’s not that theists are all idiots; it’s just that they won’t shut the fuck up about god. And I can’t even begin to count the number of Sundays I have wasted because of fucking Jesus. Not from going to church or anything: I’m not retarded. I’m talking about having to spend the day sleeping or something because the pub is closed. And why the fuck do they think it’s a good idea to go round to people’s houses and start talking shit about god? Imagine if homosexuals went door to door to spread the good news about spreading the arse cheeks, or if middle aged nerds dressed up in costumes came round and started talking klingon. It’s not even as if Jeebus is all that. McGyver could have done the same shit armed only with a piece of string and a packet of chewing gum.

Yet somehow these stupid mother fuckers are convinced that they are onto something. Why? Fuck knows. Maybe Cal is right and they have the Christ psychosis. Maybe they are just wankers. All I know is that I would rather coat my enormous schlong in honey and face fuck a grizzly bear than “debate” with religiots.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Burn in hell choobus.

Brooks said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brooks said...

That would be impossible, anonymous

Gary said...

I laughed so hard I choked on my Galaxy Caramel.

The Judge said...

I printed this off and read it on the way to the train station going into London to see an estate agents about a flat. I laughed so much on the way there that people must have thought I was crazy.

Got the flat we wanted as well so I take this mystical confluence of events to mean only one thing: Choobus is god and reading his words makes good things happen.

Hey it makes about as much fucking sense as any theist reading centuries old myths and claiming they know the truth.

Praise Choobus!

Appalled Atheist said...

"McGyver could have done the same shit armed only with a piece of string and a packet of chewing gum."

Brilliant.

EMR said...

I like the hobo parable. Maybe Choobus has more in common with Jesus than we think?

HomoCyclist said...

anonymous, brooks is right, there is no hell.

HomoCyclist said...

I just recently fired my maid because she didn't stop singing her stupid christian songs while moping, washing the dishes, etc.
I warned the motherfucker so many times, but she didn't listen, she knew I can't stand christianity and I gave her work even though I knew she had a 'problem' with religion.
You're right Choobus, they can't just shut up!

Kamikaze said...

I have to say, I usually debate with theists. I am still young, and naive apparently. I think there may be hope for some people, you know, just give them a little doubt.

Maybe they'll see the light. Probably not.

HomoCyclist said...

kamikaze, when you reach your 40's you're going to think differently.

Choobus said...

The only person who didn't leave a name wants me to burn in hell. Now I don't know who to thank......dax

With 10% more blasphemy.. said...

Once again, I have almost pissed myself and I have only Choobus to blame. :) Keep up the good work Choobie, and if the RA goes completely nutters for sky daddy...well, I guess we can all hang out here.

I'll try to wrangle up some nude pics for you...

joshbowling said...

A++++ hilarity. Would LOL from this user again

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

OK Choobus, here is a tip from an amateur who thinks he is a pro.

Noah Nywno said...

CHOOBTASTIC!!!